


Needing to Be Normal

by kryptofreak13



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Aliens are human, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Angst, Ezra Bridger Needs a Hug, F/M, Found Family, Hurt/Comfort, Parental Kanan Jarrus, Psychometry, Slow burn ezra/sabine, Superpowers, Whump
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-07
Updated: 2020-11-29
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:28:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 12
Words: 40,363
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24596029
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kryptofreak13/pseuds/kryptofreak13
Summary: Kanan knew the only way to survive was to stay hidden.  There were those out there that would do anything to capture and exploit someone of his power.  So he keeps his head down and does nothing that would draw attention.Ezra would give anything to be normal.  It's bad enough to be hunted.  But his power is one he can't control and does not want.A chance encounter might change both their lives for the better.  At the very least, they'll know they aren't alone.
Relationships: Ezra Bridger & Hera Syndulla, Ezra Bridger & Kanan Jarrus, Ezra Bridger/Sabine Wren, Kanan Jarrus/Hera Syndulla
Comments: 65
Kudos: 158





	1. Like Tides to the Shore

Kanan pulled his coat tighter around himself as he walked home, watching the wisps of condensation form with each breath.

Work had been absolute hell. People always romanticized the idea of working in used bookstores. They often failed to acknowledge at the end of the day it was just like every other customer service job and people were crazy. 

If only he had been able to go to college, like he had planned so many years ago. He’d gotten into some pretty decent schools, but then the government had started cracking down on finding people like him. School became nothing more than a distant dream. Now, staying hidden to survive was his only goal in life. And perhaps convincing Hera to finally agree to marry him.

He was replaying their last conversation on the topic when he felt it. A slight hum accompanied with a pull. 

He stopped walking, realizing that he had turned down an unfamiliar street. He had been too lost in thought to notice his surroundings.

“Karabast,” Kanan mumbled. He knew better. Knew he needed to be diligent and not allow this stupid ability of his to get himself involved in other people’s problems. His other one was so much easier to control, but this one continued to cause him trouble.

No one else was around, or at least that he could see. He’d heard rumors about people with invisibility, a lucky gift in these times to have.

The smart thing for him to do was just turn around and return to his normal route. It wasn’t his responsibility to find others like him. If anything, it was irresponsible. He had his own family to protect.

A sharp yelp came from an alley up ahead, followed by unintelligible yelling. Was he sensing the attacker or the victim? 

He should just stay out of it, but the pulling sensation was stronger now. This would certainly not be the first time he had ignored it. So why was he still standing here?

Another yell, this time sounding much too young. 

Before he could convince himself otherwise, he ran toward the noise, the pulling growing even greater.

There were three of them total. A stocky kid had another boy pinned against the wall, while a gaunt faced one held a knife to his throat. 

“Give us the jacket and we won’t end you.”

“Like it’ll even fit you,” the kid replied, his voice strangled.

Kriff, all three of them looked so young.

“Hey!” Kanan shouted. 

He knew he could look intimidating, with his rather tall height and decent build. And while his anger had never been directed at Hera, she on more than one occasion had commented how it made his face look. It was not a red-hot anger, but rather one full of ice and steel. 

The two boys dropped the kid immediately and ran off down the alley. 

“You okay?” Kanan went over to the boy to help him up, but he stood up quickly before Kanan could reach him.

On closer inspection, Kanan saw that the kid looked a lot older than he first thought. Maybe mid-teens? He was tall, but incredibly skinny. Two prominent vicious looking scars adorned his cheek. His long black hair hung in his eyes and despite the decreasing light it was apparent it had been awhile since he last washed it. That along with the slight smell of someone who hadn’t been able to clean their clothes for a long time led Kanan to the conclusion that this was a kid who was not being taken care of. 

“Thanks,” the kid mumbled. He shivered and zipped up the thin jacket. It was patched in several places. “Wouldn’t want to lose my favorite jacket.” He said it with a laugh, but there was a hollowness to it. 

Kanan wasn’t dumb. He knew it was probably the only warm piece of clothing the kid owned. And by the looks of the kid’s flushed cheeks and red nose, it probably wasn’t that warm to begin with. 

“Here,” he heard himself say. Almost without realizing he was doing it, he slipped off his own coat and gestured for the kid to take it. The kid took a significant step back and stuffed his hands in his pockets.

“I’m good, thanks.”

Kanan continued to hold the coat out but put it back on after the kid rejected it a third time. He took a deep breath, the condensation more noticeable now. He sincerely doubted the kid had anywhere to go to and it was only growing colder as the sun went down. 

Besides there was that pesky pulling sensation, still there. He could tell himself he tried his best and go home. The kid would be none the wiser about meeting someone of his kind. But Kanan knew he’d hate himself forever if he chose that path.

“At least let me get you a meal. It’ll get you out of the cold for a bit.”

* * *

Ezra very much wanted to decline the man’s offer, but his stomach betrayed him by growling. Karabast, he knew the guy could hear it too. He nodded, and the man grinned.

“I’m Kanan.” The guy stuck out his hand, but Ezra didn’t take it.

“Ezra,” he mumbled.

If Kanan was offended, he didn’t show it. “There’s a diner right around the corner.”

The first few minutes they walked in silence. Ezra debated whether a meal and some escape from the biting wind was even worth the risk following this stranger. Maybe he had saved him just so he could do something even worse. But then the two turned down a crowded street, and the idea became less likely. 

“How old are you?” 

Ezra started, having not expected the man to speak. 

“Twenty-one,” he lied.

Kanan snorted. “Yeah and I’m sixteen.”

Ezra chose not to reply to the sarcastic remark. He was way too preoccupied anyways. There were several people on the sidewalk, many brushing past in some hurry. His hands were buried securely in his jacket pockets, not wanting to accidentally touch anyone. More than anything he wished he still had his gloves. Someone had stolen them off him a few weeks ago and he didn’t have the money to replace them. He had considered going into a store and trying to pocket a pair, but it was too risky. If he were caught, if they tested him and found out, who knows where he would end up. People like him went missing and never came back. 

“We're here.” Kanan inclined his head to the next building. 

There was a brief moment of panic, when Ezra realized he would have to touch the door handle, but it quickly dissipated when Kanan opened it and gestured for him to go in first.

Ezra started to move toward the first booth to be as close to the exit as possible, but Kanan continued past him, heading all the way to the furthest booth. The diner was far from crowded, still Kanan had walked back to a section that had absolutely no one in it.

There was still the opportunity for Ezra to leave and run. He was sure he could just find some shelter still serving food. But he was limited with what he could eat, and he was tired of cold turkey sandwiches. A waiter walked by carrying a plate of fries, the smell making up his mind for him. Ezra followed Kanan and sat down. 

Luckily Kanan had already grabbed the menus and placed one across from him. Ezra searched it for something that didn’t require using silverware. It didn’t matter that they were cleaned after every use, they still held remnants. With so many people using them, the imprints they left were overwhelming. The first (and last) time he had ever picked up a spoon it had been too much for him and he had almost fainted.

Kanan sat across from him making a looking at them menu, while at the same time trying to not so subtlety observe him. 

A waitress came over and took their order. Kanan ordered breakfast and coffee, while Ezra opted for a hamburger, no drink. Force, he wished he could get coffee. Mugs were dangerous too. 

“So” Kanan began minutes later, causing Ezra to flinch. Ezra tore his gaze from the window and met Kanan’s eyes.

Kanan opened his mouth a few times, only to close it. 

“Uh, yeah?”

“Sorry,” Kanan replied. He paused, inhaling deeply. “I’m trying to do this right. Can you promise not to run out?”

“What?” Ezra sputtered.

Oh kriff, had this been a mistake? All he wanted was some warm food and then never see this guy again. He should have trusted his instincts earlier. 

Kanan ran his fingers through his hair while shifting in the seat. “Kid, I promise I’m not going to hurt you, can you trust me for just a second?”

“What are you talk—?”

“I know what you are,” Kanan interrupted, his voice quiet. 

Ezra’s blood turned to ice. How had he known? He needed to get out of here. Needed to get away.

“Alright darlings, enjoy.” The waitress was back with their food. 

He should bolt now, while Kanan was distracted. But the smell of the burger being placed in front of him kept him rooted to the seat. He couldn’t even remember the last time he had an actual decent meal, let alone a hot one. 

Just when he considered grabbing the burger and sprinting, Kanan spoke again.

“I’m one too.”

* * *

Watching Ezra shift from open suspicion to a deer stuck in headlights was almost comical. Kanan did his best to suppress his urge to laugh. 

The kid immediately dropped his burger and tensed. “Why should I believe you?”

Force, he was doing this all wrong. Kanan had hoped by saving him, the kid would trust him at least a little. 

Ezra crossed his arms and continued to glare. Maybe the fact that he hadn’t run yet, meant there was some small spec of trust. 

Kanan looked around to make sure no one else was watching. He reached out toward his mug of coffee and concentrated. It rose shakily about an inch off of the table for a few seconds before he willed it back down.

Kanan lifted his eyes toward Ezra, expecting a smile, or at the very least a less hostile stance. But the kid sat more rigid than before. He was still staring at the mug, his eyes hard.

After a few moments of silence, Ezra finally spoke. “What do you want from me?” His tone was far icier than it had been before. 

“Kid, I just want to help.”

“Stop calling me that,” Ezra snapped. “Look, I’ve been on my own since I was thirteen. I don’t need anyone’s help.” He picked up the burger and stood up. “Thanks for the food.”

Kanan watched as Ezra left the diner. He knew he should go after him, but what good would it do? If the kid preferred being on his own, nothing Kanan could say would convince him otherwise. Ezra had been smart enough to not get caught so far. Hopefully, he stayed that way. 

“Karabast,” he muttered. 

He had spent so much of the last decade hiding, trusting very few with his secret. This was the first time in years he acted on his ability to sense others like him. The first time in a while that he had cared enough about someone other than himself and tried to help.

And he had royally kriffed it up.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So this story kind of came from rewatching Heroes. I also recently played Jedi Fallen Order and I loved that they include Psychometry. One of my favorite books when I was in middle school was about a character with this power and I've always thought it was super interesting.
> 
> I hope you guys like it!


	2. In the Quiet, In the Crowd

When Kanan awoke the next morning the first thing he noticed was the smell of bacon and coffee. While it was one of the better smells to wake up with, it was not one he was accustomed to. Upon entering the kitchen, he saw Hera placing a large plate of eggs on the table. 

“You never make me breakfast.” Kanan paused for a second. “Kriff, what happened?”

Hera gave him a sheepish smile. “Sorry love, but Kallus called earlier.”

“Nothing good ever starts with that.”

She nodded. “They’re going to announce in a few weeks a new initiative for all stores to require swabbing employees. You’re going to have to quit now so it’s not suspicious. I’m sure Old Jho with give you more hours.”

“Karabast,” he muttered. Kanan hated working at the bookstore, but he hated tending bar even more. Late hours, breaking up fights, coming home reeking of smoke. 

“At least there’s good news.” She poured Kanan a cup of coffee. “Zeb says his contact has been able to infiltrate a few factories and replace shipments of swabs so that only result in red.”

Such a small victory. It hadn’t taken long for people to realize that those who registered for the government’s list of Power Wielders were starting to disappear quietly. As less people cooperated, it became apparent to those in charge that other means were necessary. About fifteen years ago, E.M.P.I.R.E. had been able to create reliable testing for DNA found in Wielders, such as himself. Tests were practically instant. All it took was some saliva, and a person’s fate would be decided. Red meant human. Normal and free to go about their lives. But blue? Blue was practically a death sentence. Most colleges and schools required testing for all students. Even most jobs, but Kanan had been lucky to find a few that didn’t. But ever since E.M.P.I.R.E. had begun accumulating power, more and more laws were being enacted to hunt down his kind. 

“It’s not enough.” Kanan rubbed at his eyes. Sometimes it felt like they were fighting a battle that had already been long lost. 

“I know, love.” Hera sat down next to him and sipped her tea. “But at least it’s something.”

Always so hopeful. A perfect balance to his extreme cynicism. 

She started piling bacon and eggs on to her plate. “Eat up, we’re going to be busy today.”

Kanan brought his gaze to Hera’s smiling face. It was _too_ sweet of a smile. “What are we doing?” he asked slowly.

“Oh, I thought we’d walk around the city. Maybe explore places we don’t normally go.” Her voice dripped with honey. Never a good sign.

He sighed. “Hera, he didn’t want my help. Chasing after him isn’t going to do anything except piss him off.”

“Of course, he didn’t want your help. Some weird older guy buying him dinner and admitting he has superpowers.”

“You know I hate when you call them that,” Kanan replied, his voice quiet. He took another deep sip of coffee. “I might not be able to find him again. You know how it works.”

The one good thing about his annoying ability was that it faded the longer he spent time with someone. By the time Ezra had left the diner, the pulling sensation had faded to nothing more than a mild inconvenience.

“Kanan, we need to try.” Her tone had lost all of its sweetness. Hera was the type of woman who made decisions and people listened. A trait he admired her greatly for, except when it was directed at him. “There’s something you should see.”

She placed a copy of the paper on the table in front of him. She had circled a small headline reading “City Shelters Begin Testing for Wielders”.

“They know a lot of people have stayed hidden by living on the streets, especially children. Kanan we have to find him.”

“What, so now you want to adopt every teenager I can sense? Hera, we can’t save them all.” 

“I know.” She reached over and took his hand. “But maybe we can save this one.”

* * *

Ezra ignored the gnawing feeling in his stomach. He hadn’t eaten anything since the night before at the diner with Kanan. 

His plan to get lunch at a shelter had been dashed when he spotted the line outside the door. Before each person could enter an employee stuck a cotton swab into their mouth, waited for it to turn red and then allowed them in. Ezra had swiped enough newspapers to know that it was E.M.P.I.R.E.’s new method of weeding out freaks like him. 

He had scouted out three more shelters he knew of, only to find them doing the same. While he certainly wasn’t proud enough to dismiss dumpster diving as a viable source for food, he knew he needed to acquire gloves before he could do so. Just because something was now trash, it didn’t mean there weren’t still significant memories attached to it. 

Living on the streets was difficult enough, but he needed to be able to use his hands without his stupid powers getting in the way. But that meant obtaining money, and there was only one way he knew how.

He had seen flyers for a street fair and started making his way there. While large crowds were certainly the worst place for him, he also knew it would be the best place to pick pockets. Years of experience had taught him what look for. Signs that would pinpoint those less likely to notice the slip of a hand inside a pocket or purse. And if someone should get too wise to what he was doing, he could easily get lost in the crowd.

The thought of touching wallets, money, and other people make his empty stomach lurch. If anything went wrong, if he got overwhelmed, then he would be in serious trouble. But if he didn’t get a pair of gloves soon, he’d be screwed. Keeping his hands in his pockets could only protect him for so long. 

He once again found himself down an alley that more well off, and perhaps intelligent, residents knew to avoid. Unfortunately, the quickest way to get around the city unnoticed was to use these streets. While Ezra considered them valuable, they were not without risk. Even with his instincts, he had been jumped on more than one occasion.

“Well, hello there.”

A girl, a little older than himself, sat on top of a stack of crates, a sandwich in her hands. Taking her in, Ezra noticed the fraying jeans, the holes in the toe of one of her boots. She was wearing a coat that was two sizes too large for her. Underneath her eyes were reddish circles, almost as if she had been crying before he found her, but there were no tears on her cheeks.

She studied him for a second and pulled out a second sandwich from her coat pocket. “I’d be happy to share,” she said. Her voice had a purring like quality to it. She held out the sandwich to him.

Ezra hesitated. Something was not right. He had lived on the street for almost four years now and had encountered several other homeless teens. They all had the same things in common, ratty clothes that didn’t fit properly, perpetually acned faces, but most significantly was the quiet defiance in their eyes. Because sure they had been dealt a shitty hand, but they refused to let their circumstances get the best of them. If they were going down, they would go down fighting.

The girl in front of him might have the mismatched clothes and slightly dirty face, but there was a distinct lack of the unwashed smell that he had come to associate with kids on the street. There was no dirt underneath her fingernails, no tangles in her long hair. Her eyes were too bright, too proud to belong to someone unsure of where their next meal was going to come from. The more he looked at her, the more her facade began to unravel. Even the circles under her eyes, a detail only the most the empathetic would notice, was a part of the performance

She smiled at him, but there was a hint of predatoriness to it. Almost like a cat playing who had found a baby bird. 

“I’m good, thanks.”

“Suite yourself.” She continued to grin, but there was no longer the pretense of kindness to it. Ezra noticed that her own sandwich sat untouched in her lap.

“What’s your name?” she asked when he didn’t reply.

“Morgan.” The lie rolled easily off his tongue. “What’s yours?” 

“My friends call me Vii.” 

“Well, I have someplace I have to be.” 

“See you around, Morgan,” she replied slowly.

Ezra waved awkwardly and continued down the alley. Just before he turned on another street, he looked back. The girl was still there sitting on the crates, watching him. She grinned at him and hopped off, a little too gracefully he noticed, and headed in the opposite direction.

By the time he made it to the fair, the sun was low in the sky. The streets were packed with people. They gathered around various booths selling food or offering games. A large crowd had congregated around a makeshift stage, listening and dancing to the band playing.

Ezra took a deep breath, willing his feet to move forward into the crowd. All he needed was just one wallet and then he could leave. 

Get in and get out. And then he’d have enough money to buy gloves, food, and maybe some of that coffee he kept smelling.

He pushed his way through the throng, making sure to keep his hands in his pockets until the very last second. The song playing ended and everyone turned toward the stage to clap. This was his chance.

“Excuse me,” he apologized, bumping into an older man. His hands quickly slipped inside the man’s coat pockets, pulling out a faded leather wallet.

Anger like he had never experienced before slammed into him. 

_I just need a few twenties. Dad won’t notice it missing. He pays more attention to his stupid new wife, than he ever did to me._

Ezra froze, his mind trying to remember what he was supposed to be doing.

A swell of shame overwhelmed the thought.

_How can I let her go?_

The image of a torn photo of a woman being tucked into a pocket, swam before his eyes.

Ezra felt the wallet slip from his fingers at the same time he heard someone next to him shout.

“Hey!”

Instincts overrode his confusion. Ezra took off into the sea of people.

“Hey! Stop that kid!”

A few people stepped in front of him, but he easily dodged them. The crowds had grown thicker now as more people had come out to see the holiday lights that were strung up all around. Ezra ran, trying his best to avoid touching anyone, but it was impossible. He jostled through them, his hands brushing up against coats, scarves, and even the bare skin of those not wearing gloves.

_What if he didn’t get the message? Maybe I should call him back?_

_Rent is due in two weeks. If I work every day until then I think I can make it._

_These freaks need to just die already._

Ezra broke away from the crowd, down a side alley, He stumbled blindly, his hands trailing a wall for support. The noise of the crowd and music had faded into nothingness. Unable to bear it any longer, his legs collapsed beneath him. So many different voices. So many different minds.

Anxiety, excitement, hatred. All these emotions hitting him at once. What felt like hundreds of personalities smothering his own.

He huddled against the wall, muttering to himself. “My name is Ezra Bridger. My name is Ezra Bridger.”

Images, thoughts, feeling were threatening to drown him. He was a man with a wife and two kids. A teenage girl stressing about college applications. A woman obsessing over if she remembered to lock her door.

Ezra gasped, struggling to retain any sense of self. His fingers clutched his hair as he tried to will away memories that didn’t belong to him. 

Someone was shouting off in the distance, but their words were unintelligible.

Moments later he vaguely felt gentle hands grasping his face. But then their hands brushed his and what little identity he had held on to shattered.

_Caleb, run!_

But he couldn’t run. He was falling.

Further and further he went, down into the quiet.

* * *

To anyone else they looked like a normal couple enjoying the street fair. For the most part they were. Hera was sipping hot chocolate and smiling. But she was also glancing around, trying to place a boy she had only heard about. Her arm was tight around Kanan’s. The later it got, the less optimistic Kanan became, and he hadn’t been very optimistic from the start. He could only imagine how Hera felt after almost ten hours of searching.

“Hera, there’s too many people here. Even if I sense anything, I can’t be sure if it’s him or not.”

She gripped his arm tighter, though whether for warmth of comfort he wasn’t sure. “I know.” She sighed. “We just need to try. I can’t stop thinking about how vulnerable he is on his own.”

If he were being honest with himself, neither could Kanan. All night long he had struggled with nightmares of Ezra being captured by E.M.P.I.R.E.’s Inquisitors.

For some reason E.M.P.I.R.E. made children and teens a priority to capture over adults. Perhaps it was because they were so much easier to find due to required testing for schools. That along with the various vaccines and regular checkups that most children had, it was very rare that a young Wielder could stay hidden for long. Powers didn’t always show right away, and some could be so subtle that parents didn’t realize their child was special. Testing so far had been unable to detect a Wielder until their powers manifested and there were numerous stories of young people who went entire childhoods being labeled as normal only to have their worlds turned upside down after a well-intentioned parent took them in for a broken bone or flu symptoms. People always believed bad things only happened to others, no one ever thought their kid would be the next one to disappear.

“Let’s keep just do a full lap around. And then we go home. Maybe start calling shelters to see if they found someone with his description?”

Kanan took her hand and squeezed it. “Yeah. And we can look tomorr—”

He froze. It was very faint, but he could feel the unmistakable hum that came with his ability.

“Hey! Stop that kid!”

Up ahead a small commotion had started. Kanan let go of Hera’s hand, making his way toward the source of the noise.

“He tried to take my wallet!” A man was shouting to anyone who would listen. Kanan searched in the direction the man was pointing but saw nothing.

“Kanan! To the left!”

He followed Hera’s direction and sure enough a familiar shabby jacket and its owner was pushing through the crowds of people. 

The sun had almost set now and despite all the lights, it was still hard to see far ahead. Kanan had difficulty keeping up. Kriff, was the kid fast. But the faint pulling feeling was still there, guiding him. 

Kanan ran until the crowd began to dissolve at the end of the fair. 

“Karabast!” he muttered. He had lost him. 

But Kanan refused to give up so easily this time. Closing his eyes, he focused on the now almost absent pulling sensation.

It led him to an alley between two apartment buildings and then puffed out. He couldn’t see anyone.

Another dead end. Another failure.

But then he heard it. 

“No, no, no, stop.”

There, at the very back of the alley, Ezra sat huddled in the corner, his knees pulled tight to him.

“Hera! He’s here!” Kanan ran to him, but Ezra didn’t acknowledge his presence.

The boy was grasping his hair, pulling, his fingers scratching at his face. Incoherent words fell from his lips.

“Ezra?”

Kanan heard Hera’s footsteps as she caught up. “Kanan what’s going on? Is he okay?” Her voice was high pitched, frantic.

“I don’t know. I don’t know,” he answered, unable to hide the tremor in his words. He softened his voice, “Ezra, can you hear me?” 

Was he having a fit? Was he high? No, this was something else.

“Kanan, we need to get him out of here.”

“Ezra?”

The boy stared past Kanan, his blue eyes unfocused. Kanan tried to gently pry his fingers away from his face, afraid he would hurt himself. Ezra’s eyelids fluttered for a second as he pitched over sideways. Kanan caught him before his head hit the concrete.

“We can’t take him to the hospital,” Hera stated. “The first thing they’ll do is test him.”

“I know.” Kanan gently scooped Ezra up, his head lolling against Kanan’s chest. “Call Zeb. Tell him to come pick us up.” He watched as Ezra’s breathing evened out, his eyes fully closed now. “Don’t worry, kid. I got you.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you everyone for reading!
> 
> I did go back and change a few things in the first chapter. Nothing major, just cleaned up some of the writing and fixed a few things.
> 
> Hope everyone is staying safe and healthy!


	3. Not Alone in This

It wasn’t the first time Ezra had woken up in an unfamiliar place, but it was certainly the first time he had found himself in a comfortable bed upon doing so.

His head throbbed; his mouth felt like it was full of cotton. On the table next to him sat a water bottle. He touched it hesitantly, but there was no impression left on it. Sitting up, he promptly chugged it. It did very little to help the fog in his brain.

Ezra was still wearing his own jeans, although someone had changed him into a different sweatshirt. It was slightly too big for him, but it was soft. He couldn’t sense anything from it. Probably new, then. Smelling it, he tried to recall the last time he wore something this clean. 

There was no clock in the room, but it was dark outside. The faint murmur of voices drifted in from the adjacent room.

He let the sleeves fall past his hands, thankful for the small amount of protection the fabric provided, and ventured outside.

The room was dark with the exception of the glow from a TV, illuminating Kanan stretched out on the couch. He noticed Ezra and muted whatever he was watching.

“Hey.” Kanan sat up straighter on the couch. “How are you feeling?”

“I’m not really sure. What happened?” He wrapped his arms around himself, but it brought very little comfort.

“I was hoping you could tell me, kid. We found you in the alley. You seemed pretty shaken up.”

Ezra shook his head as if it would help clear away the fuzz. “I don’t remember.”

Kanan let out a small breath and smiled. “Maybe that’s for the best. What’s the last thing you do remember?”

“I—I tried to take someone’s wallet, but something happened.” Closing his eyes, he tried to put together some semblance of the night, but everything after grabbing the wallet was lost to him. The haze in his mind started to expand and he felt himself start to sway on his feet.

Kanan sprang off the couch as if to catch him, but Ezra took a step back.

“I’m okay. I think I just need more sleep.”

Kanan raised his eyebrows but didn’t press any further. “Okay, we’ll talk in the morning.”

“Looking forward to it,” Ezra muttered under his breath.

He could feel Kanan’s eyes on him as he went back inside the bedroom. Hopefully, he’d be able to slip out in the morning before anyone realized he was gone. 

* * *

Kanan made a groaning noise as he opened his eyes. It warm under the blankets and for once he had been having a good dream. Hera was curled up next to him, her head nestled on his shoulder. A noise of some kind had stirred him from sleep, but he couldn’t remember exactly what.

Sounds of movement came from the next room followed by the yowl of a cat and then the sharp crack of shattering glass.

“Karabast!” hissed a voice. 

Kanan laughed quietly to himself. He probably should have told Ezra about Chopper. Hopefully, the kid wasn’t allergic. 

Hints of sunlight peaked through the blinds. He wanted to sleep a little longer, but if Ezra was awake and up, he should be too. It must be a little awkward for Ezra to find himself in some stranger’s apartment. Slowly, Kanan extracted himself from underneath Hera’s embrace. He sat on the edge of the bed, rubbing his eyes. 

It was soft, but Kanan heard the undeniable sound of a door opening and closing. He was not a morning person and it took longer than normal for it to register. 

“Ezra?” Kanan opened the door of the bedroom and cautiously stepped over the pieces of a broken vase. Hera would not be happy. He checked the kitchen, the bathroom, and the spare bedroom, only to find the cat. “Kriff,” he muttered. In hindsight, he should have seen this coming.

There was no time to get properly dressed, only to grab his coat and slip on a pair of the first shoes he spotted, a pair of flimsy flip flops. His plaid pajama bottoms would have to do. By the time he made it out the door, he could just barely see Ezra disappear around a corner up ahead.

Running in flip flops was near impossible, but he was able to manage for a few streets, slowing down once he caught sight of the boy. He watched as Ezra entered a large boutique. Kanan hurried his steps. The kid had no money, why would he possibly go into some swanky store? Despite the early hour, there was a decent number of shoppers. One of them eyed Kanan’s attire and he felt his face grow warm. 

He spotted Ezra in the back, looking at merchandise on a table. The kid glanced up at the ceiling, his eyes searching for something. Kanan started to make his way over, but before he could approach him, he felt the soft pull of a nearby Wielder. He looked around, trying to pinpoint the source. They’re were mostly pairs of parents shopping with their child. A group of teenage girls were looking at jewelry. No one that Kanan believed to be of any threat. 

He was just about shrug off his ability, when he noticed an older gentleman in a suit, which seemed a little too formal for shopping. The man stood on the opposite wall of where Ezra was, texting on his phone. But every so often, he would lift his eyes and watch the boy for a few seconds. Ezra was examining a rack of shirts, one hand in his jacket pocket. He took one side glance at the busy employee behind the cash register and began to turn to the door, only for a security guard to appear and grab him by the arm. 

“Really, kid?” the guard demanded. 

Kanan heard Ezra stammer as he tried to escape the man’s grasp.

Kriff, this would not end well. He needed to intervene.

“Are you accusing my son of stealing?” 

Recognizing him, Ezra’s eyes went wide with shock, only to quickly narrow. He scowled at Kanan, still struggling with the guard’s hold on him. 

The security guard took in Kanan’s plaid pajama bottoms and sandals, his eyebrows raised. Neither his nor Ezra’s disheveled appearance, gave the impression that they could afford anything from this store. There was also the issue that they looked nothing alike. Still, Kanan knew attitude more than anything was necessary when it came to lying. 

“Let go of him,” he said, emphasizing each word. “If he say’s he didn’t take anything, he didn’t.”

Everyone in the store was staring at them now. Kanan noticed that the man in the suit was especially watching with keen interest. The guard dropped Ezra’s arm, regarded Kanan with cold eyes, and walked away.

“Seriously?” Kanan hissed once they had left.

“Are you following me?” Ezra demanded. He took a pair of green gloves out of his pocket and put them on.

“You weren’t exactly stealthy this morning.” 

“Well I wasn’t exactly anticipating your crazy cat to attack me.”

Kanan snorted. Yeah Chopper was a pain, but Hera lo—

He felt the pull again and casually glanced over his shoulder, confirming his suspicion. Karabast.

“You want to tell me why it was so important to steal those?” He gestured to Ezra’s gloved hands. “You could have just asked us for a pair.”

Ezra didn’t answer. 

“Fine, don’t tell me,” Kanan said, a little sharper than he meant to. Ezra’s eyes flashed with anger at him. Kanan took a deep breath and continued in a calmer tone. “Look, I’m just trying to understand. It can’t be easy being on your own so young. I just thought you could use someone to look out for you.”. 

“First of all, we just met,” Ezra argued. “And honestly, you’re not the first person to say that to me. No one ever does something simply to be nice. There’s always a catch.”

“Kid, I’ve saved you three times now. Think you can start trusting me at least a little? I just want to help you.”

“Why? There are thousands of kids alone out there. You want to help me just because I’m a freak like you?”

Kanan frowned at the choice of word, but chose not to comment on it. “I was around your age when things started to get really bad. Almost overnight they were doing everything in their power to hunt us down. If it wasn’t for...” he trailed off and took a deep breath. “Look, I had someone to protect me. E.M.P.I.R.E. is relentless. If they find out about your abilities, they won’t stop until they have you.”

“I’m not some lost puppy. I can take care of myself.”

“Oh, really?” He raised his eyebrows and gently grabbed Ezra’s arm to pull him off into an empty alley.

“Hey!”

Kanan held a finger to his lips and gestured to the street they had just left. A few moments later the older man wearing a black suit walked past. Though he kept his head straight, Kanan could see his glance slide to the pair of them for a brief second.

“That guy right there is a Wielder.” Kanan told Ezra once he had checked that the man had continued down the street. “I saw him leave the store right after us. Now, maybe it’s a total coincidence. Or maybe he was following us. You’ve heard about the Inquisitors, right?”

Ezra nodded.

“There’s a reason there are so few of us left,” Kanan said, his tone steady and serious. “Inquisitors are ruthless, and they won’t care that you’re a kid. If anything, it makes you a more valuable capture. That is why I want to help you. Because you don’t deserve what will happen if those monsters find you.”

Ezra wrapped his arms around himself but didn’t reply right away. His face was solemn, as if he were considering Kanan’s warning. After a few seconds of silence, he finally spoke. “How did you know?” His voice was quiet. “I mean, how did you know what he was? What I am?”

Kanan’s face softened. There was unmistakable fear in the kid’s eyes. Kriff, he was so young. Ezra should be worrying about getting good grades or asking someone to a dance, not if he was going to end up in some lab, getting dissected. “It’s hard to describe, but I can sense when someone is a Wielder. It’s like this weird hum in my mind that draws me to them. When I was younger, I felt it constantly. But now, with everything E.M.P.I.R.E. has done, it happens maybe once a week, if even that.” 

“I thought you were telekinetic? I’ve never heard of someone with two abilities.”

“Guess I’m lucky,” Kanan replied with a dry laugh.

Ezra snorted and leaned up against the brick wall. “Figures. You get two cool, useful powers and I get this bullshit.” He wiggled his fingers.

“Yeah we still need to talk about that. Whatever happened last night, I’m assuming it had something to do with your ability?”

Ezra winced and stared down at Kanan’s feet; his brow furrowed. He seemed to be debating whether or not to answer. Eventually he lifted his head, but didn’t meet Kanan’s eyes. “When I touch something, I feel things.”

“Don’t most people?” The joke slipped out before Kanan could stop himself. Luckily, Ezra didn’t appear to be too annoyed. He simply rolled his eyes and continued as if Kanan hadn’t spoken.

“I can feel the strong emotions that people felt while touching the object. Sometimes I see images or even hear thoughts, anything strong enough that left an impression.” He inhaled deeply and ran his fingers through his hair. His expression grew pained. “The same thing when I touch people, only so much worse. All their fears, their desires, their memories. I can feel everything. If I touch them too long, I lose myself.” He shuddered and held his arms close to his chest again, as if he were trying to keep himself together. It was almost an unconscious motion, one that Kanan realized Ezra did often. 

“So, I’m guessing something like that happened last night when we found you.”

Ezra nodded. “I honestly don’t remember much if it, but yeah. I must have gotten overwhelmed. That hasn’t happened to me in a really long time. Not since right after my parents...” he trailed off, his eyes hard.

Kanan reflected on the events of the past few days. Small details that he noticed, but not thought much about. Like Ezra’s hesitation at the diner’s entrance or how he had refrained from touching anything at the table. Why he had risked getting caught just for a pair of gloves. The state they had found last night.

How had he not put the pieces together? Kriff, he had seen Cal go through the same thing. Back before anyone knew anything about Wielders, Kanan had been there when his friend collapsed after simply picking up a doll they had found in the woods. He’d seen how Cal avoided touching anything until he learned to control it. Horror and guilt suddenly flooded him, remembering how he had touched Ezra’s hands right before he fainted. Force only knew the trauma the kid had experienced all because of him. How did he seem to always make things worse?

Ezra started speaking again, breaking Kanan out of his reverie. “I’ve heard so many stories about these incredible abilities. Everyone else gets superpowers and I get stuck with this thing.” He waved vaguely with hands.

“The name for it is psychometry. It’s an incredibly rare gift.”

“I wouldn’t exactly call it that,” Ezra said, bitterness bleeding through his words.

Kanan flushed. “You’re right. Bad choice of words, I’m sorry.” He ran his fingers through his hair. He hadn’t put it up before he left the house and it was starting to bother him. “Ezra, you can learn to control this. I have a friend I think can help. If you don’t mind sticking around for a bit, that is.”

Ezra studied Kanan's face for a moment before smiling. It was the first time Kanan had seen him do so. “I wouldn’t mind sleeping in a warm bed for once.”

“Come on,” Kanan chuckled. “There’s someone I want you to meet.” He put his arm around the boy’s shoulder. 

They were just about to enter the main street when he felt it. Jerking away from Ezra he spun around, his eyes searching the alley. It was empty. Aside from the building’s fire escape, there was no where a person could have hidden. If someone had been watching them, surely he would have sensed them sooner. Still, it unnerved him.

“Kanan?”

“Sorry, I thought I heard something. Uh…let’s hurry. Pretty sure my feet are frozen.”

They walked home in silence, Kanan, remaining alert to those around them. There was no pulling sensation, nor did he see the man in the suit again. 

When they got back to the apartment, Kanan breathed in deeply, the smell of cinnamon and syrup thick in the air. “Wow, breakfast two days in a row.”

Hera smirked. “Don’t get use to it. And you’re cooking dinner tonight. Don’t forget Sabine’s coming over.”

He nodded in response. “Ezra, this is my girlfriend Hera. She was with me last night when we found you.”

“You gave us quite a scare, hun.” She gave Ezra a warm smile, one which he surprisingly returned. “You feeling better?”

“I think so. Is that French toast?” He sat down at the table, his eyes comically wide with excitement. 

“Sure is. One of the few things she can make.”

Hera hit Kanan lightly on the shoulder. “You’re one to talk. Let me guess, we’re having spaghetti tonight.”

“Hey, you can’t beat a classic.”

“You could try,” she replied, giving Ezra a sly smile.

He snorted and took a bite of French toast.

“Don’t encourage her,” Kanan laughed, sitting at the table. Hera joined them, a steaming mug of tea in her hands.

“So, um what’s your power?” Ezra asked, his tone sheepish. 

“Oh honey, I’m not a Wielder.” 

“Sorry, I just assumed.”

“There’s a lot less of us left than people think,” Kanan said. “E.M.P.I.R.E. wants people to believe we’re some massive threat to keep them afraid. They want to divide us. They’re planning something, we just don’t know exactly what that is yet.”

“Ezra, there’s a whole network of people trying to help Wielders. It’s been slow going, but we’re making progress. We have hope one day everything will be better. We’re going to make sure of it.”

Ezra smiled, but it didn’t quite reach his eyes. He took a few more bites of food before changing the subject. “You said someone is coming over tonight?”

“Yes,” Hera said excitedly. “You’ll get to meet my little sister, well she’s not really my sister. I was her mentor for the Big Siblings Program. Sabine is about your age. Just started her freshman year at college.” 

“Cool,” Ezra replied. Kanan couldn’t help but notice the bite in his tone. Another reminder of the normalcy Ezra would never get to experience.

Hera must have heard it too. She gave Ezra a sympathetic smile. “Would you want to go shopping with me later? Get you some new clothes.”

“You—you don’t have to do that. Look, I really appreciate all your help and giving me a place to stay, but I don’t—”

Kanan cut him off. “Kid, she’s been looking out for everyone long before you and I came along. Besides, you can’t keep wearing the same thing.”

“I have other clothes,” Ezra said, defensive. “There’s an abandoned building where I sometimes crash. I’ve stashed a few things.”

“Okay, we’ll stop by there today, so you can grab your stuff,” Hera responded. “But my offer still stands, just think about it.”

He nodded and mumbled a thanks. “Um, do you all mind if I took a shower?”

“Of course,” Kanan laughed. “You can borrow some of my clothes and we’ll toss yours in the wash.”

He grabbed Ezra a pair of sweatpants and an old t-shirt and showed him where the bathroom was.

“So many things we take for granted,” Hera said softly once Kanan sat back down. “How is he, really? Did he say anything about what happened?”

“Yeah, he has psychometry.” He heard Hera take a sharp intake of air. “Do we still have Cal’s contact info? I know he’s been off on missions.”

“If I can’t find it, I’m sure Ahsoka knows.” She paused, frowning. “Did you tell him?”

Kanan shook his head. “Just that they might come after him for being a Wielder. I didn’t mention the real reason they’d want him.”

“You’re going to have to tell him, love. He needs to know how much danger he’s in.” Hera took his hand in hers and gave it a gentle squeeze. 

“I know. I will. It’s just that he seems so much younger than I was. He’s still a kid. How do I tell him what we’re up against? What might happen to him. Kriff, how can I protect him?”

Hera stood and wrapped her arms around Kanan, leaning her chin on his head. “We’ll figure it out together. We always do.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! 
> 
> Be ready for lots of angst in upcoming chapters. I've been having fun writing them. 
> 
> If you aren't familiar with Cal Kestis, he's the protagonist the of video game, Jedi: Fallen Order. He was a Padawan during Order 66 so he and Kanan have similar trauma. Psychometry is a canon Star Wars power, although I've altered it a bit for this fic. 
> 
> If anyone is interested the actress who plays Patty in the Flash is how I picture human Hera when I'm writing 
> 
> Hope everyone is staying healthy and safe!


	4. Some Would Sing and Some Would Scream

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bit of a long chapter. Enjoy!

_“Caleb, run. I’ll be right behind you. I promise.” The woman’s voice drifted from the dark up ahead. He tried to peer through the shadows, the urge to see her face more important than heeding the warning in her words. It had been so long._

_“Run!”_

_An unseen force slammed into him, throwing him backwards. He scrambled to his feet and ran._

_With each stride, the shadows grew until he could see nothing in front of him. Still he kept running. Even when he heard the screams from behind, he kept going. Where, he didn’t know._

_The ground beneath him was dissolving with each step. He sped up, unsure if it would do any good._

_How could he have left her? After everything she had done for him. He needed to go back._

_His foot hit nothing._

_He was falling_

_Falling._

Ezra groaned, opening his eyes. He needed to get on his feet, to go back and save the woman. 

No. That wasn’t right. Awareness flooded back to him. He was lying in bed, not at the bottom of some dark pit. The woman’s last word rang in his ears, but most of the other details were beginning to fade. Something about Caleb? Whoever that was. He gingerly sat up, his heart still rapidly pounding against his chest. 

Stumbling to the bathroom, he allowed the shower to wash away the remnants of the dream. He stayed long after the water turned lukewarm, his heart returning to its normal rhythm. Chopper was waiting for him outside the door when he had finished. He was surprised that for once it wasn’t the cat who had woken him. For some reason, he had decided that Ezra was the one who fed him. It didn’t matter that Ezra made sure his door was closed every night, somehow the furry little bastard got inside. 

When Ezra entered the kitchen, Kanan was cooking at the stove, whistling. Both him and Hera were big fans of eating meals together and any time both of them were home they took the opportunity to do so. It was drastically different from what Ezra was used to, even before he had been on his own. His parents had often been too busy, leaving Ezra to fend for himself. He winced, pushing down the memory. The few times he allowed himself to think about his parents, he liked to focus on when things had been good. Before any of their Wielder activism had intervened in their lives.

“Where’s Hera?” he asked, sitting down at the table. There was the distinct scent of burned bacon in the air. Kanan swore he did it on purpose because he liked the taste, but Ezra didn’t quite believe him. He much preferred when Hera did the cooking.

“She went to go meet Sabine at the bus station.”

Ezra scoffed. “I’ll believe it when I see it. I’m starting to think this girl doesn’t actually exist.”

The first night he was supposed to meet Sabine, something had happened with her parents and she’d had to cancel. Then a week later when she planned to go see a movie with the three of them, a school thing had prevented her from coming. No one had seemed more disappointed than Hera. It was obvious she was determined to introduce Ezra to someone his own age.

“She’ll be here, I promise.” Kanan grinned at him. “Excited?”

“You guys realize I do have friends, right?” It was somewhat true. He was friendly with a few kids he’d encountered on the streets. But it was more out of necessity than anything else. They shared food, helped each other avoid the police. That only went so far, they didn’t exactly hang out together. If he was being honest with himself, he was nervous about meeting Sabine. 

“Never hurts to have more.”

The sound of the door opening and closing came from the hallway. A moment later Ezra heard an exasperated voice say, “you’d think I was a telling her I wanted to become a drug dealer.”

Ezra causally glanced over his shoulder before spinning around in his chair to looked at the newcomer. The first thing he noticed was her hair. It was short with about five different shades of purple and blue. She wore an equally bright orange and yellow sweater. On anyone else the clash of so many colors would have been ridiculous. Not only did it work on her, but she also held herself in way that suggested that she could not care less if others didn’t agree. She eyed him, a playful smile on her lips. Ezra heard Kanan clear his throat and he knew he’d been staring a little too long.

Sabine dropped her paint splattered backpack on the floor and flung her arms around Kanan’s neck. 

“Been too long, kid,” he said, returning the hug. “What was that about dealing drugs?”

“My mom is mad I’m taking art classes,” Sabine answered, taking a seat next to Ezra. “Says she doesn’t want to waste money on a hobby.”

“I swear that woman is worse than my dad.” Hera kissed Kanan on the cheek and leaned over, examining the food on the stove. “At least the pancakes look good, love. I’m impressed.”

“Didn’t you somehow manage to set breakfast on fire last time I was here?” Sabine smirked.

Kanan waved the spatula in her direction. “Hey, respect your elders.”

Sabine rolled her eyes at him. “You’re like thirty-four.”

“Thirty-two. And I said elders, not elderly.”

Sabine laughed. It was a genuine and uninhibited sound. Ezra found himself wishing he’d been the one to inspire it. His ears grew warm with the thought. He hoped no one else had noticed.

She turned her attention to him. “So, kid, how you liking it here?”

“Sure beats what I’m use to. Warm bed, good food. Or at least when it’s Hera cooking.”

“You know kid,” Kanan replied, his focus still on the stove. “Feel free to chip in any day now.” He looked over his shoulder, the corners of his mouth curved upwards.

“Don’t know how much help I’d be. Most of my meals came from the trash.” He had meant it to be funny, but the uncomfortable silence that followed let him know the joke had fallen flat. 

Kriff, he didn’t know why he was trying to impress a girl he had just met. It wasn’t as if she were the first girl his age he’d known.

Kanan clapped him on the shoulder and put the plate of pancakes down on the table. “Cal’s going to be here around one, so no running off to wherever you go.”

While Ezra was grateful for the place to sleep and shower, he still wasn’t completely comfortable hanging around the apartment. They had given him an apartment key and found an old cell of Kanan’s. As long as he checked in occasionally and was home before dark, he was allowed to come and go as he pleased. He resented the curfew and it wasn’t uncommon for him to push the definition of dark, often coming home right as the last rays of light had disappeared. 

“Even if I’m back in time?” He winced, hearing the whine in his voice. 

“You got a hot date?” Sabine asked with a teasing smile.

“Um,” he stammered. “Actually, I was going to go to the library.” It was the truthful answer, but Ezra still liked how it seemed to surprise Sabine, almost as if she were impressed. 

“The library? Didn’t picture you as a reader.” Kanan laughed. Hera shot him a reproachful look and he faltered. “Sorry, I just meant you hadn’t mentioned it or anything.”

Ezra shrugged. “I’ve spent a lot of time there. It’s not like the fire escapes I slept on had cable. Lot of homeless people hang in libraries. They’re warm, dry. No one cares how long you sit there.” He glanced sideways at Sabine, self-conscious. “I mostly read comics. My dad—” he broke off, shaking his head slightly. He stared at the table, ignoring the eyes he knew were on him. “Growing up, that’s what we did. Every week he’d take me to get a new comic and we’d read it together.”

It might have been his imagination, but Ezra could have sworn the entire apartment fell silent. Even the hum of the refrigerator was dim in his ears. 

“You don’t really talk about your parents,” Kanan said.

“What’s there to say? They died.” He felt his face burn, wishing he hadn’t brought up the subject. Looking up he grinned without really feeling it. “I’m just glad I have gloves again, though they make turning pages a pain in the ass.”

“Ezra—,” Hera began, her voice soft as snow. 

“Um, so who exactly is this Cal person?” Ezra interrupted.

Kanan and Hera exchanged a look that Ezra couldn’t discern. “We grew up together,” Kanan answered. “In the foster care system. Ended up in a lot of the same houses. He’s a couple years younger than me, but we were really close.”

“Wait. You grew up in foster care?” Ezra asked. 

“Yeah,” Kanan replied tentatively. He ran his fingers through his hair, his eyes distant for a moment. “Anyways, when were really young he just always seem to know things he shouldn’t. Wielders weren’t common knowledge back then. I was fourteen when my own abilities started, and Cal finally told me about his.”

“How’d he learn to control it?”

“Focus and discipline, which is what you’re going to need to do the same. You up to it, kid?”

Ezra forced himself to smile in response. Kriff, he hoped he could do this.

As it got closer to one, Ezra couldn’t shake the anxiety that had settled in his stomach. All morning he had been fine, but the thought of what he was about to do was becoming real to him. With the exception of the incident a two weeks ago, he’d barely touched anything without gloves since his ability manifested.

“Kid, you okay?” Kanan asked.

Ezra’s tongue felt thick in his mouth. He nodded, his eyes downcast. When Kanan had first suggested practicing with Cal, he’d been so eager. But now the thought of actually using his ability was making his skin itch. 

Hera gently touched his arm. “Everything is going to be fine.”

There was a soft knock on the door and Kanan got up to answer it. Ezra swallowed hard, mentally willing his heart to calm down. He was glad Sabine was in the other room. One less person here to witness his inevitable breakdown. 

“Ezra, this is Cal,” Kanan said as the two men entered the kitchen.

For some reason he had pictured Cal similar to Kanan. However, the two were almost complete opposites. While Kanan was scruffy with his long hair and beard, Cal on the other hand was clean cut, his hair slicked back neatly. He stood straight and alert, the stance of that of a soldier. If Ezra hadn’t known better, he would have assumed Cal was the older of the two.

Though his face was relatively relaxed, there was a quiet intensity in his eyes. It gave Ezra the strong impression that Cal had experienced more than most people did in their entire lifetimes. He supposed he had. Ezra knew firsthand what it felt like to have someone else’s mind shoved into his own. Not only was Cal older, but according to Kanan his ability had developed as a child. Who knew how many other people’s thoughts he had sensed in that period of time.

Kriff, was this how Ezra would look in ten years? Haunted by the minds of others? Only it would be so much worse unless he learned to control his power.

Cal held out his hand, no glove, Ezra noted. “Great to meet you.”

Ezra took his hand and shook it. Hera and Cal exchanged hellos and hugs and then the four of them sat down at the kitchen table. The adults continued to catch up for a bit, but Ezra barely heard them. He sat fiddling with his gloves, the knot in his stomach expanding with every second.

Eventually the conversation circled back to Ezra. 

“Ready?” Kanan asked.

“Yeah.” Ezra slipped off his gloves. He had grown accustomed to wearing them nonstop again the past two weeks, only removing them in the shower. It was a strange sensation, almost like leaving the house without shoes on.

“When did this all start for you?” Cal asked, his tone gentle. 

Ezra stared at his hands, feeling naked. “When I was thirteen. Right before—um before my parents died.” 

“Did you ever tell anyone else?”

Ezra hesitated and then shook his head. “Just Kanan.” The lie slipped out easily enough. There was no reason for them to know the truth. 

“That’s good, it makes it harder for Inquisitors to find you.” Cal’s voice grew even softer. “I’m not going to lie, learning to control this is going to take time. Kanan says your ability works on people?”

Ezra nodded.

“Okay, mine only works on things, but I think the principle will be the same. Today, though I want to practice just on objects. Before we focus on blocking it all together, I want you try to pinpoint a specific emotion or thought.”

“What good will that do? I don’t want to feel anything.” Ezra tried to hide his annoyance, but it crept into his tone nonetheless. 

“Because it’s going to take some time for you to be able to grasp turning it off and on.” Cal’s tone was patient, making Ezra feel even more like a petulant teen. “By practicing this you can at least protect yourself from more harmful impressions. Most objects have a long history and have touched by multiple people. You need to learn to focus on the things you want and block out the rest. We’re going to start off small.” Turning to Kanan he asked, “Do you have something that only you or Hera uses? Something that wouldn’t have strong emotions attached to it.”

Kanan nodded and left the kitchen.

“If I had his power, I’d be so lazy, I wouldn’t bother getting up for things,” Ezra said.

“Kanan doesn’t really like to use his ability,” Hera replied.

Now that he thought about it, Ezra realized with the exception of when they first met, he hadn’t seen Kanan use his telekinesis. “Why?”

She shrugged. “Just different reasons.”

Something in her tone suggested there was more to it, but before he could press the issue Kanan had returned, holding out a green toothbrush to Ezra.

“Really?” he asked.

“Cal said start small.”

Ezra rolled his eyes and took the toothbrush. There wasn’t much of an impression on it, just twinges of early mornings before one was completely awake. He could taste mint in his mouth, see a vague reflection in a foggy mirror.

“It’s Hera’s,” he said eventually. 

“Anything else?” Cal asked.

Ezra closed his eyes to focus. He found himself wanting another cup of earl grey. The thought was unexpected as he’d never drank tea in his life. There was something else there. It was faint, almost like there was an attempt to smother it. An undercurrent of fear. Would this be the day they took Kanan away from her?

Ezra dropped the toothbrush, his glance going to Hera. She was smiling, but her expression faltered as his eyes met hers. Ezra felt his face grow warm. Maybe this was a terrible idea. He felt like he was invading something private.

“No, nothing,” he lied. 

“Let’s try something else,” Cal said. “Maybe with a little more significance?”

Hera held out a paperback that had been sitting on the table.

“No, not that.” Kanan made a move to grab it, but Ezra beat him to it.

“Didn’t picture you as a reader,” Ezra said sardonically. It wasn’t one he had ever heard of. The spine was cracked and faded; the cover torn slightly. 

“Very funny, kid.”

“It’s your favorite,” Ezra began, flipping through the pages. “You’ve read it like five times?”

Kanan nodded, frowning. 

“It’s been a really long time since you’ve read it last, but something recently made you want to pick it up again…” Ezra trailed off, concentrating. There was intrigue and excitement, as he read the book for the first time. As well as a sense of comfort that came from each subsequent reread, the familiar words and plot a means of escaping reality, even for just a little while.

But these were old emotions. Because something was stronger, making everything else pale in comparison. Grief, horrible and unbearable, began to eat away through him. He felt it deep in his chest, a gnawing ache that devoured everything it touched. Where a piece of him had once occupied, only a hollowness remained. His favorite character reminded him too much of _her._ Rereading the death scene brought up too many memories of when she…

He flung the book away from him, gasping heavily. 

* * *

Ezra’s jaw was clenched, his eyes dark. “You could have warned me,” he snapped.

Hera and Cal stared at Kanan, bewildered.

“Ezra, I’m sorry.” Kanan said. “I should have stopped you.”

It had been over ten years since he had read the book. He didn’t think the emotions would remain that strong after so much time.

“Whatever, I need a soda or something.” Ezra stood up, swaying uneasily on his feet.

Kanan jumped up from his chair to steady him. “You okay?”

“Sorry,” he mumbled. “I didn’t mean to yell. It was just a lot, Kanan.”

“Kid, don’t apologize, it was my fault.”

“Maybe we should take a break,” Hera said. “Why don’t you go lie down, hun.”

Ezra nodded, hugging himself. “Um, thanks for the help, Cal.”

“Don’t worry, kid. It’ll get easier. It just takes practice.” Cal’s waited for Ezra to leave the kitchen, his brow furrowed. He reached over and picked up the book.

“Kanan?” Hera was watching him, her eyes wide. 

“The last time I read it was right after Billaba—” He broke off, unable to say the words.

“Oh, love.” She stood up, wrapping her arms around him. Kanan held her tightly before pulling away.

He noticed Cal’s grim expression. “What’s wrong?”

“I think Ezra’s ability is significantly more sensitive than mine,” he answered spinning the book between his palms. “I can feel what I’m guessing he did, but it’s really faded. More of an echo than a strong emotion.”

“What does that mean?” Hera asked. 

“It’s going to be harder for him to learn to control this,” Cal replied. “Kanan, I think you’re going to need to practice with him. At least once a day.”

“What can I do? Our abilities are drastically different.”

“Exactly what we did today, although stick to the small stuff for a while. Maybe even meditate with him? It helped you learn focus.” Cal stood up from the table. “I should be able to come back in a few weeks, maybe a month. Merrin’s gotten intel that E.M.P.I.R.E. is developing some kind of algorithm to track down Wielders. I’m sorry, but it’s got to take priority. I just wanted to help get him started before I left.”

“Of course,” Hera replied. “We really appreciate you coming here.” She hugged him. “Great seeing you, Cal.”

Kanan walked Cal to the door. A nervous silence surrounded the two of them.

“What are you thinking?”

“Kanan.” Cal paused, his lips curved downward. “You need to be careful. If his ability is like mine, then it’s more than sensing. Some things linger. Skills, traits, that kind of thing. It can be really subtle. He may not even notice it’s happened.” 

“Really?”

“Yeah it’s how I learned how to play the guitar so fast.” Cal chuckled briefly before his smile slipped, his face growing serious again. “But most of it isn’t so fun. I’ve gained an annoying fear of heights I can’t shake. And that’s just from an object. The kid has some serious power if he can sense from people directly. I can’t imagine there’s much of a filter either.”

“No, he says when he touches people, he feels everything.” 

Cal nodded a few times. “He seems pretty diligent already about wearing gloves, but make sure he does. Until he can control it better, he needs to avoid touching people. And no offense, make sure he doesn’t touch you. Your life hasn’t exactly been full of sunshine.”

Kanan grimaced, but not at Cal’s last remark. “He already has. During the incident, but he says he doesn’t remember anything about that night.”

“Doesn’t mean something didn’t stick.” Cal leaned against the wall, reaching back to rub at his neck. “I don’t mean to lecture you, but it sounds like the kid’s already been through hell. I’m just saying he doesn’t need more scars to bear. It’s a strange feeling knowing parts of your personality aren’t really your own.” He opened his mouth as if to say something else, but chose not to.

“What is it?”

Cal exhaled deeply. “I know you don’t want to get involved with what we’re doing, but we could really use you Kanan. It’s great that people like Hera and Zeb want to help, but they can’t take down the Inquisitors. You have your abilities for a reason. Maybe you should actually use them.”

Anger raced through him and then quickly evaporated. Cal’s intentions were in the right place. “Right now, I just want to keep them safe. I can’t do that if I’m running off on missions with you.”

Cal smiled faintly, though there was disappointment in his eyes. “I understand. Just do me a favor, okay?”

“Yeah?”

“While you’re helping the kid practice, work on your telekinesis. I know you don’t like to use it, but the way things are going, simply staying hidden might not be an option much longer. You need to be prepared to fight.”

Kanan nodded. “When did you get smarter than me?” he asked with a grin.

“Oh, I’ve always been the smart one.” Cal laughed. “Keep in contact. I’ll try to be back soon to teach the kid. Until then, just help him focus.” He gave Kanan a quick hug and left.

Kanan went to his room to get ready for his shift. Hera was sitting on the bed, Sabine next to her. She was enthusiastically showing Hera a drawing in her sketchbook.

Cal wanted him running off to be some superhero, but Kanan couldn’t leave this. Nothing was more important to him than his family.

“Gorgeous as always, Sabine.” he said.

“Thanks. I just wish my mother thought so too,” she replied, her tone dry. 

He squeezed her shoulder and started digging in the dresser for a black shirt.

“Ezra did pretty good today,” Hera said.

He didn’t respond. Cal’s warning about Ezra was bothering him. The kid needed to practice to learn control. But by doing so he was endangering himself. What if something stuck that fundamentally changed him as a person? 

“Kanan?”

“Sorry. Yeah, Ezra did great,” he said, changing his shirt. “I think Cal was right about mediation. I’ll show him tomorrow.” He kissed Hera on the forehead. “Try not to have too much fun without me.”

Outside the wind bit at his face. Times like these he wished they had a car, but it just wasn’t practical in the city. At least the bar wasn’t too far. He was almost at work when he stopped short, a store sign catching his attention. There was something he needed to do first…

It was a rather slow night at the bar, which was rather strange for a weekend. Maybe it was the news’ promise of snow that had kept people at home. Regardless of the reason, the stools at the bar were practically empty. Kanan had been bored all night. He was pretending to clean something when he felt the familiar pull. 

A girl walked in and made a beeline for the stool in front of him, the pulling sensation growing stronger. There was a determined glint in the girl’s eyes as she sat down, a look Kanan had come to associate with bold teens attempting to drink underage. A dusting of freckles lay across her youthful face. She couldn’t have been more than eighteen.

“Old fashion, extra cherries.”

Kanan snorted. “Not a chance, kid.”

She held up an ID between two fingers. “I’m older than I look.”

He took it from her, examining it with eyebrows raised. As he handed it back, her fingers brushed his, static electricity jumping between the two. He winced. The girl’s lips curved into an apologetic smile. 

He could feel her eyes on him as he made the drink. There was something about her that made him uneasy. Not just because she was Wielder, though that was certainly a large part of it. It was the way she looked at him. Like a kid looking at a wrapped present, eager to tear open the paper and see what was inside. He placed her drink on the bar.

She picked up one of the cherries and bit it off the stem slow and deliberately, her eyes locked on Kanan. “So, what’s your story?” 

As Hera had pointed out numerous times, Kanan could be pretty oblivious when it came to the many facets of women. However, one thing he could pick up on with ease was when someone was flirting with him. Especially when it was used as a guise to manipulate him. After all it was a tactic, he himself had utilized many times. Well, at least it had been before Hera had come along. Warning bells in the back of his mind were at full force now.

“Not much of a talker?” she asked when he didn’t respond. Her voice was silky, yet somehow still sharp. He was strongly reminded of a lioness lying in the grass waiting to pounce.

“Kid, I know what the movies show, but bartenders don’t really have conversations with patrons,” he answered gruffly.

“Well, at least you sure make a fine drink, Jarrus.” She tilted her head, a coy smile on her face.

Kanan’s mouth went dry. He studied the girl, trying to place her. “Have we met?”

Her smile widened. “No, but we have a mutual friend. Sweet face, pretty blue eyes.” There was something in her voice that made the hairs on the back of his neck stand up. 

“I don’t know what you’re talking about,” he replied, keeping his tone steady. Cold dread spread throughout his body, settling in his stomach.

“Really? I could have sworn I’d seen you with the lost little lamb.”

Kanan crossed his arms, his face stony. “Like I said, don’t know who you’re talking about.”

“No?” Her amber eyes studied his face. “My mistake.” Throwing a few crumpled bills on the bar, she flashed him another smile, this time showing her teeth. “See you around.” 

He watched as she left, the humming in his mind fading as she did so. “Jho, taking my break,” he yelled to the other man behind the bar, as he headed to the backroom. He took out his cellphone, his fingers trembling as he dialed. “Come on,” he muttered.

Ezra picked up on the fourth ring. “Uh, yeah?”

“Kid, where are you?” He tried to keep his voice even, but his anxiety bled though.

“At the apartment hanging out with Sabine. You okay?” 

Kanan exhaled with relief. “Where’s Hera?”

“She’s sleeping. It’s midnight. Kanan, what’s going on?” Ezra’s voice had begun to mirror his own panic. Kanan heard Sabine say something in the background but couldn’t make out the words.

“Nothing.” He swallowed hard, his thoughts racing. “Just do me a favor, make sure the door’s locked. I’ll be home soon.”

“Okay?"

Kanan ended the call, leaning against the wall for support. He could hear his heart pounding in his ears, his breath coming out ragged. This was the second Wielder who had shown interest in Ezra. It was too big of a coincidence. How could the Inquisitors possibly know about him already? Unless they’d been watching Kanan all this time. Had he led them straight to the kid?

The sound of tinkling glass brought him out of his thoughts. A nearby shelf full of tumblers was rattling, its contents threatening to spill over. Kanan squeezed his eyes shut and concentrated on getting his breathing under control. He pictured Hera in his mind. The way the corners of her mouth twitched when he told a lame joke. The smell of motor oil on her clothes after she came home from a long day of work. The feel of her hand in his, like two puzzle pieces fitting together.

The rattling stopped. Kanan opened his eyes. He hadn’t lost control like that since he had been a teenager. He needed to be careful. Old Jho might be a Wielder sympathizer, but any of the other employees could have walked in and caught Kanan.

He checked his watch. There was still two hours left of his shift, but he knew he would be distracted. Texting Jho something about getting sick, Kanan grabbed his bag and left out the back door. 

He chose to splurge on a cab, anxious to get home quickly. His nervous energy must have been contagious because the driver kept glancing at him through the rearview mirror. He was being ridiculous. There was no way the Inquisitors knew where they lived. Still, he had the cab driver drop him off a few blocks away. He made sure no one was around before unlocking the door and bursting into the apartment. Voices drifted from the kitchen and he followed them.

The two teenagers lifted their heads from the chess game they’d been playing, bemused smiles on their faces.

“You okay?” Sabine asked.

“Yeah, everything’s fine. You guys good?” There was a hint of worry in his voice, but for the most part he managed to sound casual.

“We’re great, Kanan.” Ezra shot Sabine a perplexed look before moving one of his chess pieces.

“No gloves?” Kanan asked, gesturing to Ezra’s bare hands. 

“There’s not much of a strong impression on the pieces. I’m guessing you guys don’t play often.”

“Just Hera and her dad when he comes to visit,” Kanan replied.

“Is he like super intense? There’s a very strong urge to win.”

“Yeah, that’s one way to describe him.” Kanan joined them at the table. “Can you sense anything else?”

Ezra shook his head. “I knew how to play without Sabine explaining the rules, but that’s kind of it.”

“They haven’t played for a few years. He’s not around much.” He inhaled deeply, tugging slightly on his ponytail. “Hey Sabine, do you mind giving us a minute?”

“Sure. I’m actually going to go to bed.” She stood up from her chair. Smiling at Ezra she said, “Kid, thanks for letting sleep in your bed.” She waved and headed off.

Kanan smirked, raising his eyebrows at Ezra 

The kid’s face turned bright red. “I’m sleeping on the couch,” he explained.

Kanan chuckled. “I figured. Seems like you two are getting along.”

“Uh, yeah. She’s cool.” Ezra hesitated a few seconds before speaking again. “Are you sure everything’s okay? You sounded weird on the phone.”

Kanan considered telling him. Ezra could be sarcastic and brash at times. He very clearly didn’t enjoy having to abide by house rules, constantly failing to let one of them know when he was going to be late coming home or even letting them know he had left in the first place. But right now, he was looking at Kanan, unsure and vulnerable, a reminder of just how young he really was. Kanan knew he needed to tell Ezra the truth about the Inquisitors, and he would eventually. But it didn’t have to be tonight. He could just let him be a kid a little longer. 

“Everything’s good.” He watched as relief flooded back into Ezra’s features. “About what happened earlier today, kid, I’m sorry.”

“Kanan, it’s fine. It’s like Cal said, I need to be able to block out the bad. I can’t do that without practice. Just maybe a warning next time?.”

Kanan smiled faintly, unzipping his backpack. “I stopped off at the store before work. I didn’t know what you liked, but the guy said these were amazing.” He took out a large clear bag and held it out to Ezra. 

The kid didn’t take it. He stared at Kanan, an unreadable expression on his face. 

“It’s okay. They’re all new.”

“You bought me comics?” Ezra’s voice cracked on the last word.

“This way you can read them without having to wear gloves.” He paused. “Hey you okay?”

Ezra nodded wordlessly, taking the bag from Kanan. He pulled out the stack of comics, looking through the titles. “This is my favorite,” he said quietly, his hands firmly clasped on one of the books. “Kanan, you didn’t have to do this.” He lifted his head back to Kanan, his eyes glistening. 

“I know how hard it is to lose someone. I thought these would help you feel close to your Dad. If you want more, I thought we could make it a weekly trip thing. Uh, or I can give you some money if you’d rather go alone.”

“Going together would be fun. And I can show you the good ones.” He held up a comic, laughing. “Can’t believe you picked this one. Everyone knows Abrams can’t write for shit. Too many stupid plot twists.”

“Sounds like a plan.”

Ezra beamed at him and started eagerly explaining his favorite comic. It was the happiest Kanan had seen him. 

He promised himself he’d tell Ezra everything soon. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I hope you all enjoyed the little bit of fluff, because the next few chapters are going to hurt.
> 
> Yes, that was a dig at Rise of Skywalker. Honestly the only thing I liked was all the Jedi's voices at the end and that Kanan was not only included, but his line is really prominent. 
> 
> Kanan's favorite book was written with a real book in mind. I don't want to say the title because I did spoil something major. I will say it's my favorite and it's probably why I loved Rebels so much. The two main characters are very similar to Kanan and Ezra. Their dynamic starts off as teacher/student but quickly grows to parent/child. It's a pretty popular fantasy novel, so maybe someone will get it from that vague description. 
> 
> Thanks for reading and huge thanks to those who have commented. If you've been enjoying it please comment. Means the world.


	5. Never Knew Daylight Could Be So Violent

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Nothing explicit, but there is an adult who acts creepily toward a minor. It's only a four years difference, but I know that can be upsetting.

Kanan woke the next morning, his head aching. He and Ezra had stayed up until almost three discussing comics. And while he had enjoyed the bonding moment, he seriously regretted going to bed so late. Sometimes he forgot he was no longer in his twenties.

He entered the kitchen, yawning. Blessedly he could smell coffee brewing. He mumbled a good morning to Ezra and Hera and grabbed a mug, waiting for the machine to finish. Hera sat with her tea in one hand and the day’s paper in the other. She was reading intently, her mouth in a flat line.

“Anything interesting?”

Hera sighed, folded the newspaper, and put it down on the table for the other two to see.

“Some Wielder they’ve named ‘The Shadow’ robbed another bank last night,” she explained. “The only witness is apparently in no condition to talk.”

Kanan frowned, though it was mostly due to Ezra’s peculiar reaction. He was focused on the article, his jaw clenched. Kanan put his hand on the boy’s shoulder “What’s wrong?”

“I’m fine,” he grumbled. His face relaxed a little, but there was still unmistakable tension in the way he held himself.

“This stuff pisses me off too,” Kanan said. “Wielders like this only care about themselves. They’re just giving people more reasons to hate us.”

Ezra didn’t respond. He continued to stare at the newspaper, his eyes cold. 

“Kid?”

Ezra shrugged him off. “Is Sabine almost ready?”

Kanan and Hera exchanged a glance. He wanted to press the issue, but she shook her head slightly at him. 

“I’m not sure,” she replied.

Ezra shoveled the rest of his cereal into his mouth, got up from his seat, and left the kitchen without another word.

Kanan raised an eyebrow. “What’s with him?”

“He’s been in a mood all morning,” she answered. “Said he didn’t sleep last night.”

It was truly remarkable how Ezra could go from eager to sullen in the span of a few hours. There were brief moments, such as last night, when he thought he’d connected with the kid. He wanted Ezra to view him as someone he could trust. Kriff, was this is what it was like to raise a teenager? 

Kanan leaned against the counter, rubbing at his eyes. He’d had plans to sit Ezra down this morning and start practicing mediation, but perhaps he should wait for whatever mood Ezra was in to disappear.

The two teenagers entered the kitchen. “Ezra and I are going to hang out in the city a little bit before my bus,” Sabine said.

Hera smiled at that, but Kanan didn’t share her excitement. The image of the girl’s face from last night flickered through his thoughts. The alarming glint in her eyes when she spoke about Ezra was burned into his brain. “Maybe we should all go.”

“Uh…no you guys don’t have to,” she replied hesitantly.

Hera stood up and nudged him gently in his ribs. Hugging Sabine she said, “you guys have fun and we’ll see you next weekend, right?”

Kanan and Hera walked the two to the door. A sinking feeling was growing in Kanan’s gut, but he tried to ignore it, telling himself to relax. Ezra wouldn’t be alone, he’d be with Sabine. Beside he couldn’t keep the kid locked in the apartment. 

“Let us know when you get there,” he said. “And Ezra, come home straight after. I need to talk to you about something”

Ezra’s forehead wrinkled in confusion, but he nodded. Kanan waited for the door to close before he put his arm around Hera. 

“You want to tell me what’s bothering you?” she asked, nestling against his chest.

He grimaced, pulling her closer. “I’m just worried about the kid.”

“Kanan, he’ll be fine.” She paused, giving him a sly grin, “You know this is the first time in the past few weeks we’ve had the apartment to ourselves.”

He returned her smile and lifted her up, her legs wrapping around his waist. Kissing her softly, he carried her into the bedroom.

* * *

“So how often do you stay with Hera and Kanan?” Ezra asked. The two of them were sitting at the bus station, the past few hours having gone by too fast for his liking. 

Sabine shrugged. “It depends. My mom gets mad if I do it too often.” She raised her voice in a mocking tone. “How come you never visit your real family?” 

“You don’t get along with you parents?” 

“I get along fine with my dad and brother, but my mom is just difficult. I’m closer to Hera and Kanan than I am with them.” She paused, studying his face. “Be honest, how do you really feel about living with them?”

“It’s still a little weird,” he said slowly, trying to sort through his own emotions. “I like them, I do. It’s just that I’ve only known them for a few weeks, but they already treat me like…” he trailed off, uncertain of the word he was looking for.

“Like family?” Sabine asked. 

He nodded. “Yeah. Isn’t that a little strange?”

She smiled at him. “That’s just how they are. I’ve never met two people who care as much as they do.”

An announcement came over the speaker about an arrival. “That’s me,” Sabine said, and the two of them stood up and headed over to her bus. “I had fun today.” She leaned forward. Ezra felt his cheeks burn but he quickly realized all she wanted was to hug him. He returned it and she pulled away sooner than he liked.

“See you next week, Bridger.” 

He watched her through the window until she was seated and gave her an awkward wave.

When he exited the station, he considered not heading back right away. It still irked him how sometimes Kanan tried to act like a parent. But then he thought back to what Sabine had said and decided to listen. He hadn’t been trying to be too difficult with curfew and the like, but he also knew he could be better. After all Hera and Kanan had done for him so far, the least he could do would be to show his gratitude more.

He was about halfway to the apartment when a girl slipped her arm around his. He tried to jerk away, but she tightened her grasp. “Vii?” he asked, recognizing her. 

“Play along,” she whispered. “There’s a man following you.”

Ezra twisted his head slightly to peer over his shoulder.

“Don’t,” she hissed. “Just pretend we’re together.” She laid her head against his shoulder, the scent of her hair wafting through his nose. It was sharp and unpleasant, but he couldn’t quite place why. Almost like how the air smelled right before a lightning strike. He squirmed, but she insisted on holding on to him. “This way,” she said, suddenly leading him down an alley to their right.

Ezra felt his heart begin to race. The street was empty and silent with towering buildings blocking out the rest of the city. Vii’s grip on his arm strengthened to the point of almost pain. They walked until they came to a high fence. Ezra pulled away, his instincts screaming at him.

“He didn’t follow us,” Vii said, her words coming out breathlessly. She eyed him. “Hey, a little bit of gratitude would be nice.” 

“Thanks,” he mumbled. Now that they weren’t moving, he had time to study her. The whole homeless costume he had first met her in was gone. She wore nice black jeans and an expensive looking leather jacket. What he had first mistaken for a dirty complexion, was rather a dusting of freckles across her nose. Her amber eyes were embellished with smoky red eyeshadow, making her appear significantly older than he had originally believed.

She noticed his stare and smiled. “Like what you see?”

“I—I should get going.” He turned to leave, but she grabbed him by the wrist, her fingers wrapping around the small amount of skin exposed between his glove and sleeve. Electricity sparked from her touch and he yelped. Her grip loosened and he fell, landing hard. His entire left arm was numb.

Her gaze shifted to something past him, her mouth twisted in a triumphant sneer. “Told you that would work.”

The man from before, the one Kanan had pointed out to him a few weeks ago, stood at the opening of the alley. As he strode forward Ezra clambered to his feet. The man reached his hand out toward him.

An invisible force slammed into Ezra, sending him flying backwards. His vision swam as his head made contact with the ground. Everything spun. He tried to sit up, but a foot kicked him in the chest, holding him down. Vii loomed above him, her expression hungry. 

“For one so pretty, you aren’t very smart.” She laughed and held her palm open. The man handed her something small and long. Kneeling down beside Ezra, she grabbed him by his shirt and hoisted his head up. 

Before he could realize what was happening, she plunged a syringe into the crook of his neck. A choking sound escaped his lips as he thrashed in a fruitless attempt to escape. Numbing warmth rapidly spread through him. His thoughts grew sluggish, his limbs no longer felt connected to his body. A flash of panic surged through him, clearing his head. For a brief instant, he held on to the foolish hope he would be able to fight whatever she had given him.

Vii laughed, a high melodic sound. It was the last thing he remembered. 

* * *

Kanan reached out his hand, searching for Hera only to find her side of the bed empty. Groggily opening his eyes, he sat up. The light streaming through the window was low. Kriff, how long had he been asleep?

Slipping on a pair of sweatpants he made his way to the kitchen. As he passed the bathroom, he could hear Hera’s faint singing mixed with the noise of the shower running. Her voice was terrible, but it still made him smile.

The living room and kitchen were dark and quiet. He was surprised he hadn’t heard Ezra come in. For a kid relatively thin, he sure made a lot of noise moving around. The clock on the microwave read that it was late enough to start cooking dinner. He filled up a pot of water and turned on the stove to let it boil. Ezra would probably wrinkle his nose at pasta for the fourth night in a row, but Kanan knew he wouldn’t complain too much. Honestly, he himself wasn’t thrilled about it, but money was tight, and spaghetti was cheap. 

The water was almost ready when Hera came in, drying her hair with a towel. “Hey, love, your phone was vibrating.”

“Eh, I’ll check it later. Probably Jho wanting me to come in tonight.”

“You don’t want to?” she asked.

“I still need to talk to Ezra. Show him some mediation techniques.” Raising his voice, he yelled, “Hey, Ezra come help make dinner.”

A few minutes passed with no response. “Ezra?” he called again.

“Maybe he’s sleeping?” Hera said.

Kanan went and knocked lightly on the kid’s door. “Ezra, food.” He knocked again. Nothing. Sighing, he opened the door. The room was empty.

“Seriously?” he muttered, reentering the kitchen. “I told him to come straight home. Force, sometimes he can be such a teenager.”

Hera chuckled. “He is seventeen, dear. If I recall you acted like a teenager long into your twenties.”

Kanan rolled his eyes but returned her smile. “I’m going to call him.”

It took him a few minutes to find his phone. When he finally did, there were three missed calls from Ezra. His body grew tense, a stab of anxiety striking him. Just as he was about to return the calls, the phone began to vibrate.

“Ezra?”

“Kanan.” The kid’s voice came out slow and slurred. “Don’t come—” He broke off with a sharp yelp.

“Ezra!”

“Kanan Jarrus,” a familiar voice purred.

Fury, cold and pure, coursed through him. “Who is this?” he asked, his tone surprisingly level.

“I think you already know. I suggest you listened to what I have to say, or things will get unpleasant for the boy.”

“Kanan?” Hera appeared beside him, her eyes searching his face. He shook his head at her.

“I’m going to send you his location,” the voice spoke again. “Come alone. Oh, and don’t bother calling the police. They’ve already been informed of official E.M.P.I.R.E. business and will not interfere. See you soon.”

His hands trembled as the phone call ended. 

“Kanan, you’re scaring me.” Hera reached out and gently touched his arm. 

He swallowed hard, his mouth refusing to cooperate. The phone buzzed again, this time a text with an address. “The Inquisitors, they—they took him.”

* * *

“Now we wait,” Vii said, tossing the phone aside. 

The male Inquisitor crossed his arms. “I don’t see why we don’t just take the kid in,” he grumbled.

Vii pursed her lips. “This is why I’m in charge.” She spoke slowly as if explaining something to a petulant child. “We need Jarrus to help break the boy. Besides his ability could prove to be useful as well. Go wait for him outside.” 

The male Inquisitor scowled but did as he was told.

Ezra breathed heavily. His head throbbed, but the dizziness was gone. The fog in his brain lessened as the numbness in his body slowly wore off. While he welcomed it, it also meant the faint ebbing pain in his shoulders from his hands being tied behind his back was growing stronger. The ropes dug into his wrists. Fortunately, they hadn’t removed his gloves. 

Vii knelt down next to him and grabbed him by the chin. “The longer he takes, the more time I get to spend with you.” She sent another painful shock through him. 

“He’s not going to come for me,” he snapped, jerking away from her touch. Quieter, almost to himself, he mumbled, “People don’t do that.” 

While Kanan had saved him before, this was in a completely different league. It was one thing to chase off street teens or appease a security office. These were kriffin’ Inquisitors. Kanan was in just as much danger from them as Ezra was. 

Despite this, there was still a small part of Ezra that kept expecting Kanan to walk through the door any second. He shook his head. No, he was on his own. Fantasizing about being rescued wasn’t going to help him survive this.

“Just hurry up and kill me,” he said, braver than he actually felt. 

“Kill you?” She leaned in until there was only a breath of space between their faces. Her lips curled into a menacing smile. “I have no plans to kill you.”

Ezra shuddered. He believed her words, though it only terrified him more. There was too much amusement in her tone. Whatever she was planning, maybe death would be preferable.

“Why are you doing this?” Ezra asked, his voice strangled. “After everything they’ve done to us, how can you work for them?”

She tilted her head at him, a pitying expression on her face. “You really don’t know?”

“Know what?”

Her eyes narrowed, examining his face. “It seems Jarrus doesn’t care for you as much as I thought. Or perhaps he didn’t think you could handle the truth.”

“What are you talking about?” Ezra demanded. The pain in his shoulders was immense now, but he embraced it, thankful for the fire it gave him.

“Poor child, E.M.P.I.R.E. doesn’t want to kill you. They want to make you stronger. You’re going to join us.”

“You’re lying,” he spat. His heart was pounding now, the taste of metal on his tongue. He could feel himself trembling, unable to stop. 

“Your gift is valuable, young one. The ability to know everything about a person with a simple touch. A powerful asset. With a little motivation—” she paused, trailing a finger down his face, shocking him, “—you can become one of E.M.P.I.R.E.’s greatest weapons.”

“You’re delusional if you think I’d become like you, you sick freak."

Vii pulled away from him, her face softening. It made her look younger, more like how she had when they first met. “I thought the same thing once. We aren’t so different.” For a brief moment she seemed to shrink into herself, all her bravado evaporated.

“Vii,” he said gently. It was slim, but maybe there was a possibility he could talk his way out of this. Or at the very least trick her into letting him go. He’d worry about the other Inquisitor later.

She blinked, her face hardening once more. “That’s not my name. Just a private joke. Now, why don’t I show you a taste of all the fun you and I are going to have.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hope you all enjoyed the angst! 
> 
> I've been focusing a lot on Kanan and Ezra's relationship but I promise Hera and Sabine are going to become more prominent. 
> 
> I posted a little bit early because I am going back to work this week, so I won't have as much time to write as I've had this past month. I'm still planning on updating every week, but the chapters might be a little shorter. 
> 
> Thanks for reading! Hope everyone is staying safe and healthy.


	6. Sweet as Cherry Wine

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> TW: Nothing explicit, but there is an adult who acts creepily toward a minor

_Don’t worry kid, I’ve got you._

_You’re going to need to stay strong. Can you do that, son?_

_The world is changing, Caleb. We need to be ready._

_Remember Ezra, without hope, we have nothing._

“Mom?” Ezra murmured, his eyes fluttering open. How long had he been out? His whole body was burning, screaming at him. He closed his eyes again, wanting to fall back into the dark where it was safe, where the pain couldn’t reach him.

“None of that,” a cold voice purred. A hand pressed forcefully against his chest, sending out another shock of electricity.

Ezra’s eyes flew open as he cried out, jolting to full awareness. He panted, unable to control his breathing. There was a tightness in his chest. A dull, disconcerting pain radiated through his arms. Wasn’t there a limit to how much electricity a person’s body could take?

Vii—or whatever her name was—smirked at him. “Pleasant dreams?”

Ezra bowed his head and ignored her, trying to recall the details. He could have sworn he heard his parent’s voices as well as what he thought might have been Kanan, although he had no memory of him saying those words. But there had also been someone else. A woman’s voice that sounded familiar, but he couldn’t quite place. And there had been that name again. Caleb. 

He felt himself start to slip back down into unconsciousness, but the girl grabbed him by the chin, forcing him to meet her eyes. “Jarrus is certainly taking his time. Maybe he’s abandoned you.”

Ezra swallowed hard. Was Kanan coming for him? Would it even do any good? Kanan barely used his ability, how could he possibly defeat two Inquisitors? 

The girl buried her nails further into his skin. “Jarrus cannot protect you. Why not willingly join us? It’ll save you so much suffering. Just swear your loyalty and this will all stop. I might even spare your friend.” She snorted. “Well, if he even bothers to show. Why would he care about street trash like you?”

“Force, do you ever shut up?” he said through gritted teeth. 

Her eyes flashed briefly with anger, but then the corners of her mouth twitched upward. “That fire will serve you well, young one.” She released her hold and traced one of the scars on his cheek with a sharp fingernail. “What’s the story behind this?”

Recoiling from her touch he snapped, “None of your business.”

“Perhaps you’d like a matching set?” She pulled a knife from her pocket and held it to his other cheek. “I’m proficient in many ways of inflicting pain. You’ll be the same way once I’m done with you. Let’s start your first lesson.”

“Get away from him,” a familiar voice growled. Kanan came into view, his hands held above his head as if in surrender. The male Inquisitor shoved him forward and he stumbled slightly.

The girl laughed. She grabbed Ezra by the arm, forcing him to his feet.

“Hello again, handsome.” 

* * *

The girl from the bar stood there, her fingers clutched in Ezra’s hair, forcing his head back. She pressed a knife against his throat. Ezra to his credit, did not make a sound as she pushed the knife closer. He continued to struggle against her grasp. For the most part he looked relatively unharmed, but there was a noticeable glassy sheen in his eyes.

Kanan tried to step forward, but an invisible force held him back. He felt the male Inquisitor’s ability working on him, preventing him from moving.

“Let him go. The kid’s ability is nothing special. It’s me you want,” Kanan could see the blood begin to well up and trickle down the boy’s neck. Maybe they’d get lucky and the Inquisitors would take the bluff. There was still the chance they didn’t know what the kid was capable of, only that he was a Wielder. 

“No…Kanan.” Ezra’s breath was ragged, but there was resolve in his words. “Just…get out.” 

“So brave,” the girl purred in Ezra’s ear. She stroked the knife against his face, and he shuddered. “You know perfectly well Jarrus, that the boy is our prize. You’re just an added bonus.”

Anger, swift and terrible, ran hot through his stomach. Kanan concentrated on the blade in her hand. His intention had been to fling it from the girl’s grasp, but it merely twitched. He heard Ezra’s sharp intake of air as it nicked him. 

“Pathetic,” the girl said. “What a poor excuse for a Wielder.”

Cal was right. He’d been so concerned with appearing normal and avoiding detection again, that he’d neglected his ability. It didn’t matter how much control he’d once had. Like any skill or talent left ignored it had dwindled in power. 

The Inquisitor’s smile sharpened. She whispered something Kanan couldn’t heard in Ezra’s ear that made the kid flinch.

Kanan could berate himself later for his carelessness, he needed to act now. His emotions were getting the better of him. Anger had always made his ability erratic, difficult to manage. Focus and serenity were what Billaba had taught him were the keys to control. And they were what would save Ezra now.

Just as he had the night before he thought about the small things that brought him peace. Hera’s determination. Sabine proudly showing off her drawings. And lastly Ezra, a kid who reminded Kanan so much of himself when he had been that age. Though they hadn’t known each other long, he truly cared for the boy. Kanan had been lost and alone before Billaba had taken him in and now it was his purpose to do the same for Ezra. 

The knife was pulled from the girl’s hand and sent flying. It landed a few meters away with a loud clang.

The girl tore her gaze from Ezra with a sharp turn, her teeth bared in a snarl. And then just as quickly she regained her composed smile.

“Do you truly believe you could disarm me?” She laughed. Rich and sinister, it sent a shiver down Kanan’s spine. “Sweetie, the fun is just beginning.” 

Ezra cried out in pain, his knees buckling. The Inquisitor dug her nails into his shoulder, releasing sparks of electricity. Ezra’s eyes fluttered closed as his body began to convulse.

The male Inquisitor put more pressure on his hold, forcing Kanan back. He needed to get to Ezra away from the girl. 

She wrapped one arm around Ezra’s chest. “Ready to play?” she murmured into his ear. Her hand stroked the length of his arm down to his hands. At first Kanan couldn’t see what she was doing. He heard a small cry of “no”, escape Ezra’s lips. The kid shuddered and tried to twist out of the girl’s hold.

She held up something small and green. Panic surged through him as he recognized it as Ezra’s gloves. Electricity sizzled from the Inquisitor’s fingers. The gloves sparked and ignited as she tossed them aside.

“No!” Kanan kicked widely, trying to escape the force holding him back. The male Inquisitor laughed, a deep and pitiless sound. 

“You should really be more careful what you say in public,” the girl crooned, her eyes locking on to Kanan. “You never know who’s listening.” 

Ezra’s eyes grew wide in abject horror. He jerked frantically, trying to loosen her grip on his hands. “No!” he shouted through a sob. He continued to scream incoherently, an anguished noise unlike anything Kanan had ever heard before. Kanan was thrashing now, desperate to break away. All the while, the girl laughed in delight. After another minute, Ezra’s cries began to quiet into mere whimpers. They soon died completely, and he went limp in the girl’s arms.

“Boys are always so pretty when they cry.” She stoked Ezra’s face before throwing him to the ground as carelessly as one would throw trash. 

“That was a mistake,” Kanan said, his voice low and full of steel. 

The girl appeared taken aback by his calm demeanor. For a brief moment she faltered as if unsure. But her face grew dark once more as she began to saunter towards him. She waved her fingers at him, sparks crackling between them.

“Your turn.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for such a short chapter. I wanted to split this one and the next and this was the best place to do so. The good news is most of next chapter is done so it'll be posted in about a week. 
> 
> Thanks to everyone for reading. And hella thanks to those who've commented! Means so much.
> 
> Hope everyone is staying safe and healthy! My state is not doing so great so it's a little nerve wracking going back to work.


	7. Fills My Head Up and Gets Louder

Kanan’s heart pounded in his ears as the girl slowly walked toward him. He spared a glance to Ezra, a small amount of tension leaving him as the kid’s chest visibly rose and fell. His mind raced. There had to be something he could do. Some way to stop them and get Ezra out of here. But before he could think of anything, the male Inquisitor stepped in front of Kanan, blocking the girl from moving forward. 

“Stop playing with your food, Seven,” he growled. “Let’s just get this over with. Grab the kid.”

The girl scoffed. “Must you always be so short sighted?” She tried to push past him, but he held his ground, shoving her back. Her eyes flashed dangerously. “Get out of my way,” she said, baring her teeth.

“Our orders are to bring them in. Vader won’t be happy if they’re already damaged. Remember last time.”

She pressed her lips together. After a few seconds she nodded sharply. Throwing an annoyed expression to Kanan, she spun around and headed over to Ezra’s unconscious form. 

The man crossed his arms, his eyes following her. “Crazy bitch,” he muttered loud enough for only Kanan to hear.

With neither of them paying any attention to him, Kanan hastily searched for anything he could use as a weapon. The warehouse they were in was empty. There was with no storage or anything that could be helpful. Then his eyes settled on the girl’s knife. Berating himself for not thinking of it sooner, he pulled on it, sending it flying toward the male Inquisitor. But his precision was off, and it hit the other man in the right shoulder, rather than the chest like Kanan had intended. Still, the man let out an enraged snarl, releasing his hold on Kanan.

The girl had been leaning down toward Ezra. She whipped around, her eyes narrowed, but surprisingly remained where she was. Folding her arms across her chest, she arched an eyebrow at the other Inquisitor.

The man ripped the knife from his arm and hurled it across the room. He made a pained huffing sound and reached out toward Kanan, throwing him backwards. Kanan grunted as his head smacked the ground, but he swiftly recovered to his feet. His head spun a bit, his eyes blurring for a second. They didn’t take long to clear, and he noticed that the girl was still standing by Ezra. She was examining her fingernails, a thoroughly unimpressed expression on her face.

Why wasn’t she doing anything? He had just barely any time to dwell on the thought when something tightened around his throat. The male Inquisitor stalked toward him; his arm outstretched. Kanan felt his feet leave the ground, the force around his throat intensifying. Desperate panic filled him, and he kicked violently, clawing at his throat as if it would alleviate the pressure.

Where had the knife gone? If he could just see it, then he’d be able to control it again. But wherever it had landed was out of his eyesight. The corners of his vision darkened. The sound of the Inquisitor’s laughter grew dim in his ears.

He had failed again. First Billaba and now Ezra. How many more people would suffer because he wasn’t strong enough?

_Breathe and focus, Caleb. Serenity, not fear._

Billaba’s words drifted through his mind and he latched on to them. There was still a way for Kanan to survive this and save the kid. He raised his eyes and the answer came to him in a burst of clarity. The warehouse they were in was old and decaying. Across its ceiling were hundreds of interlocking wooden beams. Kanan blocked out the crushing pain in his throat, the burning agony in his chest. Thinking only of Ezra, he extended out his will and pulled with every ounce of his power.

There was a thunderous crack as the wood beams above the Inquisitor’s head splintered and plummeted to the ground, knocking him to the floor. His eyes slid closed and he went still. The pressure on Kanan’s throat immediately vanished and he too fell, hissing in pain as one of his legs twisted underneath him. As he sucked in deep breaths of air, he heard the languid footsteps of the girl approaching. Kanan glanced up, expecting a livid expression of some kind. But instead she regarded him with cool eyes, the ghost of a smile on her face.

“Clever.” Her voice was low and silky. “I do love a man with brains.”

“Sorry.” Kanan coughed, his throat on fire. “I don’t go for crazy.” The blaze in his chest was dull now, but still impossible to ignore. His head felt light, but there was nothing he could do about it. He needed to end this now before the other Inquisitor came to. With quivering legs, he rose, his breath still coming out in loud pants.

“Pity.” She cocked her head to one side, wrinkling her nose. A wicked smile spread slowly across her face. “It’s fine. I had my eyes set on someone else anyways.” She looked over her shoulder toward Ezra. 

Kanan chose to take advantage of her distraction. He leapt forward, swinging a fist aimed at her face. But his energy had been spent and her reflexes were too fast. She caught his forearm easily before his hit landed. 

“Oh, sweetie,” she said with a slight laugh. “I guess brawn and brains was too much to hope for.”

Her fingers tightened and she released a spark of electricity so bright it made his eyes hurt. That, along with the surge of pain, confused him and she used the opportunity to sweep his legs out from underneath him. Dazed, he blinked a few times. 

Behind the girl lay the other Inquisitor, still unmoving. Splintered pieces of wood surrounded him. Kanan focused, willing one up and forward. It pierced her in the back of the thigh. She screamed, a shrill and animalistic noise that grated his nerves. Kanan struggled to his feet. Spots danced before his eyes and he swayed uneasily.

All the amusement bled from her face. She made a twisting motion with her hands. A bright ball of light crackled between her two palms and she thrusted it toward Kanan. 

The lighting hit him square in the chest, harder than any punch ever could. Dropping down to one knee, he gasped. His vision blurred as the pain began to radiate throughout his body. He knew he needed to get up, but his legs refused to cooperate. The Inquisitor towered over him, her eyes sparkling. In her hand was one of the smaller pieces of wood Kanan had brought down. She lifted Kanan’s chin with one finger. 

“The boy will make a fine addition to our collection. I can’t wait to play with him.” 

As she raised the weapon, Kanan made a last attempt of diving out of the way, but his leg failed, and he fell over completely. He braced for the impact, images of Hera, Ezra, and Billaba flashing through his mind. 

No blow ever came. Just a dull thud as the broken beam hit the ground. 

Kanan looked up in surprise. The Inquisitor’s lips rounded, a strangled noise escaping them. She reached behind her for a brief second. Her fingers came away dripping blood. Disbelief flickered across her features before she swayed to the ground, her own knife protruding from between her shoulder blades. Ezra stood several feet back, his face oddly blank and detached.

Kanan let out a breath of relief. The kid was okay. They were going to be okay.

But no, something wasn’t right. Ezra was now staring at him, a hungry gleam in his eyes. He grinned, a perfect mirror to the smile the girl had given Kanan. It looked unnatural and horribly wrong on Ezra’s face. 

“Ez—Ezra?” 

Ezra walked toward him, his steps slow and graceful, like a lion stalking its prey. He leaned down by the Inquisitor’s unconscious form, ripped the knife from her back, and spun it between his fingers.

“Have you ever been torn apart and then put back together? It’s not nearly as much fun as it sounds.” He spoke in an eerily singsong manner, reminding Kanan too much of the girl sprawled on the floor.

“Kid, snap out of it.” Kanan forced himself on his feet, ignoring the screaming pain.

Stumbling back, he concentrated on Ezra as he continued to advance. Never before had he used his ability on a person. His hands shook as he reached out, willing the boy’s steps to stop. At first nothing happened. He pushed harder, his head feeling as if it would explode any second. A moment later he felt his power make a connection. Ezra staggered back slightly, but Kanan knew he wasn’t strong enough to hold him for long. He could feel Ezra resisting, trying to break free of the force on him. Kanan gritted his teeth. His legs were shaking; his whole body felt drained. He was approaching the end of his limits. The last time he had used his telekinesis this much in one day was when—

No, he couldn’t think about that now. Ezra needed him present. 

“Ezra, focus,” he said, struggling to form the words. “This isn’t you. It’s her thoughts in your head. Whatever you’re feeling, it isn’t real.” 

As the last of his strength left him, Kanan’s hold on Ezra broke. The kid lunged. Kanan landed on the ground hard, the wind knocked from him. Ezra recovered quickly to his feet. He stood over Kanan; knife poised to strike.

“Ezra, please.”

The kid didn’t move. He was frozen, his eyes focused on Kanan as if seeing him for the first time. Awareness flooded back into his expression; any resemblance of the girl gone. The knife slipped from his fingers.

“I—?” Ezra dropped to his knees, cradling his face in his hands. 

“Kid?” Kanan crawled over to him and gently placed his hand on Ezra’s shoulder.

Ezra dropped his hands, his eyes meeting Kanan’s. They were filled with tears that didn’t fall. “Kanan? I’m—I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I couldn’t—”

“It’s okay, you’re safe. It’s over. It’s over.” He wrapped his arms against the kid, pulling him tight. Ezra buried his head in Kanan’s chest and began to sob. His entire body shook violently.

“Come on, we need to get out of here.” Together they unsteadily stood, Ezra clinging to Kanan’s shirt.

He gently put the kid’s arm around his shoulder, while holding on to his waist. It was awkward, but they found their rhythm and made slow progress towards the door. 

Kanan spared one last look at the pair on the floor. He thought he saw the girl twitch, but he didn’t want to stick around to find out if she was still alive. As they stumbled out of the warehouse, Kanan remained on high alert. Searching every shadow, he was prepared should someone else be waiting for them. 

After a few blocks of no hint of being followed, he allowed himself to relax. They were going to be fine.

But maybe fine was too strong of a word. Kanan could still feel Ezra trembling. He had not spoken a single word since the warehouse, his eyes fixed on the ground as they walked.

They were about halfway to the apartment when Ezra suddenly broke apart from Kanan.

“’S okay, I can walk,” he mumbled, hugging himself as if it would stop the shaking. It didn’t.

The rest of the way home Kanan tried to coax more words out of him, asking questions. Ezra remained silent. Kanan was at a loss of what to do. He couldn’t even begin to imagine what the kid had sensed from the Inquisitor. Guilt threatened to overwhelm him. All this time he had told Ezra he could protect him, and he had failed. 

What were they going to do now? The Inquisitors had caught on to Ezra’s and his scent. They would keep coming after them, never stopping. How could Kanan protect him? This night had proven that he could barely protect himself.

As Kanan unlocked the door and ushered Ezra inside, he came to the startling conclusion that them being there might lead the Inquisitors to Hera and the others. E.M.P.I.R.E. had no qualms about civilian casualties if it meant they could get their hands on a few Wielders. The two of them needed to disappear. 

“Ezra!” Hera ran to the boy as if to hug him but stopped short. She opted instead for a gentle touch on his shoulder. Ezra, arms still wrapped around himself, tensed and said nothing. Hera looked at Kanan, her expression questioning.

“Ezra needs a little time to himself right now,” Kanan said. 

The teen nodded, avoiding eye contact with both of them, and headed into his room.

“Are you okay?” Hera asked, caressing Kanan’s cheek. He leaned into her, craving her touch. The past few hours had felt like an eternity and he wanted nothing more to crawl into bed with her beside him.

“What happened?”

Kanan put his forehead to Hera’s, breathing her in. She embraced him tightly, almost as if she were afraid that if she let go, he would disappear.

They held each other for a few moments before Kanan pulled away.

“We need to talk.”

* * *

Ezra sat with his back against the wall, his knees to his chest. How long he had been like that, he didn’t know. He wanted to sleep, to escape into the dark and quiet. But every time he closed his eyes, all he could see was _her._

There was a soft knock at the door. “Come in,” he mumbled.

He heard the door open and felt the motion of the bed as someone sat down beside him. 

“Did they hurt you?” Kanan asked.

More than he had thought was possible, but he knew what Kanan had meant.

“Nothing major.” Ezra lifted his head up. “Just shocked me a bunch.”

“I know it’s risky, but you should see a doctor. I want to make sure all that electricity didn’t cause any damage. Hera’s trying to find one sympathetic to Wielders.”

Ezra shook his head. “No, I’m fine.”

“Not up for discussion, kid.” Kanan bit his lip. After a beat of silence, he asked in a gentler tone, “Do you want to talk about what happened?” 

Ezra didn’t know. It was as if saying the words out loud would make the events of the day real, rather than a horrible nightmare. But if he didn’t let everything out it would stay trapped within, threatening to devour him.

Kanan patiently sat there, concern radiating off him. Part of Ezra was comforted by Kanan’s presence. But there was a small piece of him, one that he wasn’t entirely sure was his own, that was disgusted by it. He didn’t need the man’s pity. 

The unwanted thought made his decision for him. He needed to reclaim the space inside him the Inquisitor had invaded.

“It wasn’t like last time. I remember all of it. I knew what I was doing, but I—I couldn’t stop. I was so angry. I wanted to hurt you. If you hadn’t stopped me, I would have.”

“No, Ezra. That was her. It wasn’t you.” 

“It could be.” Ezra pulled his knees closer to his chest. “Kanan…” he trailed off, closing his eyes. The Inquisitor’s memories lay beneath the surface, fighting to break free and consume him. “She was like me. Afraid and alone. But then they found her and they—they twisted her into that _thing_. I felt—” He broke off, suppressing a sob.

_At first, they used her own power against her. Filling her with electricity, hollowing everything out until there was nothing but pain left._

_Pain gives you strength, they told her. Pain will set you free. There is no peace, only passion. Give in to your anger. Give in to your hate. Only with passion will you gain power. You must break your chains. Give in…give in…_

_Whoever she had been before was gone, her old name buried with her._

_Pain had made her, and she would use it to break others._

He felt a sharp tugging on his arm, bringing him out of the memory. Ezra realized his fingernails were dug into his temple, almost as if he had been trying to scratch her out of his mind.

“Kid,” Kanan said, his voice softer than Ezra had ever heard it. Kanan pulled Ezra’s hand away from his face. There was blood underneath a few of his fingernails.

“She said they wanted me. Not just to capture, they want me to join them. They’re going to make me like her.” Ezra couldn’t hide the fear from his voice, and he hated himself for it. 

Kanan’s grip on him tightened. “I won’t let that happen.”

Ezra pulled away from Kanan’s touch. “Why didn’t you tell me?” He spat the words at him, standing up from the bed. Kanan visibly flinched as if he had been stabbed. “Why didn’t you tell me that’s why they wanted me?”

He could feel himself shaking. Kanan had lied to him. Not just about what the Inquisitors wanted, but about everything. Hadn’t he told Ezra numerous times he’d keep him safe? It was Kanan’s fault that everything hurt. It was Kanan’s fault that Ezra felt like he was drowning. Kanan had failed him, he should be the one in pain. Ezra should hurt him. He should—

No. 

This wasn’t him. Kanan had saved his life. Had genuinely cared about him when no one else would. 

He let out a deep breath, feeling the anger drain from him. Kanan was watching him, worry evident on face. There was something else there. Fear? Of him?

_He should be afraid._

Ezra closed his eyes, struggling to push down the thought. “She’s still here in my head,” he said quietly. “I don’t want to feel like this anymore.”

“Ezra—”

“Please get out. I—I just want to be alone.”

Kanan nodded and stood from the bed. He open his mouth as if to say something, but instead he just squeezed Ezra’s shoulder and left.

Ezra allowed the tears he’d been holding back to stream down his face. Crawling into bed, he covered himself with the blanket as if it were a shield. He could still hear her laughter in his ears. Could still feel her smile on his face. He closed his eyes, trying to block out her lingering thoughts.

_There is no peace…_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> How much would yall hate me if I was like and this is how it ends? Nah, I couldn't do that, I'm having way too much fun writing this.
> 
> Thanks to everyone for reading. And hella thanks to those who comment. Seriously I get so excited reading reviews. Means so much to me.


	8. You Can't Wake Up, This is Not a Dream

_Fingers grasped in his hair. They pulled and pulled, dragging him across the floor. Cold feminine laughter reverberated through his ears. The sound tore at his nerves. He tried to scream, but nothing came out._

_The fingers trailed down his cheek, scratching at his skin. They traveled down to his throat and tightened._

_Ezra’s eyes flew open. Panic surged through him. It took him a few moments to realize the ghost of hands crushing his throat weren’t real. His mind eventually caught up, and the tension drained from his shoulders._

_Just a dream. Not real. He swallowed and turned over, burying his face in the pillow. His eyes drifted close._

_Gentle fingers stoked his hair. He let out a contented noise and murmured, “Sabine, that feels nice.”_

_A low chuckle sounded next to him. His entire body stiffened, his blood turning to ice._

_“Ready to play?” purred a familiar voice, her lips brushing against his ear._

_The fingers curled in his hair and yanked._

“No!”

Ezra hit the floor with an abrupt thud. His heart threatened to explode from his chest. Squeezing his eyes shut, he gulped for air, but there was no relief. 

Just a dream. Just a dream. Why then could he still hear the Inquisitor’s laughter ringing in his ears?

He rose shakily to his feet and stumbled to the bathroom. His fingers grasped the sides of the sink to steady himself. Tears welled up and fell, distorting his reflection.

“You’re okay, you’re okay. She’s not here.” The words that escaped from his lips did little to comfort him. 

These nightmares were relentless. Every night since the incident. Always the same. He’d wake up still able to feel her hands woven through his hair, the sharp tip of a knife pressed to his throat. 

Kanan’s electric razor sat on the sink. Ezra reached for it with trembling hands and turned it on. He’d never used one before, but it didn’t matter. Gone, it all needed to be gone. The noise of the razor was dull in his ears. He abandoned all attempts of controlling his breathing.

Without his hair, he’d finally be safe. She couldn’t use it against him. The long strands fell to the ground, pooling at his feet. 

When he finished, he blinked at his reflection, fully realizing what he’d done. The buzzing of the razor sounded louder to him now and he quickly shut it off. 

He opened the door and flinched. Kanan was sitting against the wall. He looked up at the sound, his haggard expression immediately softening. His hair hung limp in his face. Dark circles lay underneath his eyes.

“Ezra—” he started to say.

Ezra ignored him and went back to his bed, intent on never leaving it.

* * *

Kanan sat on the bed, his elbows propped up on his knees. He ran his fingers through his hair. “I don’t know what else to do, Hera.”

“There has to be another way,” she replied, her tone clipped. “The lease is in my name. You never gave any of your employers an address.” 

Kanan lifted his eyes from the floor to meet hers. She leaned against the wall with her arms crossed. There was a tightness in her mouth that indicated she was biting the inside of her cheek. Kanan was familiar enough with the expression to know this conversation was not going to end in his favor. 

“Hera,” he said breathlessly. “They found him once, they can again. We can’t stay here.”

“Then let me come with you.” She closed the distance between the two of them, taking him by the shoulder. “Please.” Her voice broke on the word. 

Kanan lay his hand on hers, stroking it with his thumb. “It’s not safe. You’re not a Wielder.”

He realized as soon as the words left his mouth it was absolutely the wrong thing to say. She tore her hand from underneath his and took a significant step back. 

“What, so you think I can’t protect myself?” Though she spoke quietly, there was a distinctive edge in her voice. “May I remind you, the first time we met I was saving your skin.” 

Kanan squeezed his eyes shut, wincing. His head throbbed from lack of sleep and it was taking severe restraint on his part to keep his anger from rising to the surface. This was the fourth iteration of this conversation, all of them ending poorly. 

“You know I don’t think that.” Kanan opened his eyes. “But this is different. We were lucky to get out of there. If Ezra hadn’t—” He broke off. The image of the kid’s face after he’d taken out the girl was still fresh in Kanan’s mind. He exhaled before continuing, “Hera, the Inquisitors kicked my ass. This is unlike anything you and I have ever faced.”

“If your mind’s made up, then what are you waiting for?”

“I wanted to give him a little time,” he answered softly. 

That was partially true. Ezra had been through an ordeal that Kanan couldn’t possibly begin to imagine. Uprooting him too fast when he was still trying to cope would only make things more difficult. But Kanan also knew a week wasn’t enough time. Kriff, he didn’t know what an appropriate amount of time would be. But they needed to act, and they needed to do it soon. He just couldn’t bring himself to leave Hera. Any time he tried packing, his chest grew tight to the point where he couldn’t breathe. The thought of not seeing her every day, not hearing her voice, not feeling her lips on his, left him hollow inside. But this only added to his guilt. How could he be so selfish? Was his own happiness more important to him than Ezra’s life?

He’d considered sending the kid to someone else. Someone who could protect him much better than Kanan ever could. Cal or perhaps Ahsoka? Kanan trusted them with his life, either one would be more than capable of keeping Ezra safe. But deep down he knew that was more of an excuse than anything else. He’d promise to protect the kid, he couldn’t just pawn him off so he could get back to his own life. And he honestly didn’t think he could even go through with it, he cared about him too much. No, Ezra was his responsibility. 

“I don’t understand how they even found you both,” Hera said, breaking him out of his thoughts. “It’s too much of a coincidence an Inquisitor was just there and happened to overhear you two.”

Kanan frowned. This too had been bothering him. How exactly _had_ they found them? Kanan had managed to stay hidden for over a decade. It wasn’t until he’d taken in Ezra that he’d so much as glimpse an Inquisitor. None of it made any sense. Ezra was smart enough to avoid detection and it wasn’t as if they could have seen him using his ability.

“No, they already knew about Ezra,” Kanan said. “The male Inquisitor was already following him. He was watching him in the shop.”

“Maybe he could sense him like you can.”

Kanan shrugged. “It’s possible,” he replied slowly. “But Ezra’s right. I’ve never heard of another Wielder with two gifts. Have you?”

Hera shook her head. “No, but you don’t exactly advertise it.”

Kanan flattened his palms against his knees. “It doesn’t matter how they found us. They did. And now I just need to decide what to do.”

The ice that had melted momentarily from Hera’s eyes was back. “Well, when _you_ figure it out,” she snapped, placing a bitter emphasis on the word, “At least give me a heads up so I can say goodbye to Ezra.” With that she left. And while she didn’t exactly slam the bathroom door, it definitely closed louder than normal. 

“Karabast,” Kanan muttered. Arguing with Hera was literally the last thing he wanted to be doing. But he couldn’t bear the thought of putting her in danger no more than he could the thought of never seeing her again. No matter what decision he made, both of them would end up hurt. He rubbed his temples before standing up from the bed. He needed to go for a walk and try to clear his head.

Kanan passed Ezra’s closed door on the way to grab some coffee from the kitchen before leaving. He briefly considered knocking on it to check in but decided against it. Physically the kid was fine. The doctor had found nothing alarming aside from a few interesting looking scars. But emotionally? That was an entirely different story. It had been about a week since the skirmish with the Inquisitors and Ezra had barely spoken to him. Kriff, he’d barely even looked at him. 

He’d been sleeping poorly. On more than one occasion Kanan had heard fitful whimpers come from the kid’s bedroom. And then a few days ago Kanan had woken up around three in the morning to the sound of his razor buzzing. He’d gotten up and knocked on the bathroom door, the noise of the razor now mixed with unmistakable frenzied breathing. Ezra hadn’t answered. Kanan had sat down on the floor until the door opened. When it finally did, Ezra stepped out, his eyes red rimmed. He’d shaven off his hair down to a buzz cut. It was a poor job and parts of it were uneven. Kanan had tried to get him to talk, but the kid brushed him off without a word and went back to his room. After that it had been impossible for Kanan to fall back asleep.

Kanan froze in the kitchen doorway. Ezra sat at the table, pouring over a comic book. A sight which on its own it was hardly troubling. No, what caught Kanan’s attention, was the butter knife that the kid was idly twirling between his fingers. The motion was fluid and precise.

_Some things linger. It can be really subtle. He may not even notice it’s happened._

Cal’s warning echoed in his ears. He’d have to keep an even closer eye on the kid. The scars from this nightmare weren’t ones that could heal. 

Kanan left before Ezra could realize he had been there.

* * *

Ezra lifted his head from the comic book, feeling eyes on him. He expected to find Kanan there, but the kitchen was empty. There was a faint thud as the front door closed, followed by a sharp clang. He frowned and stared at the knife he’d dropped, only vaguely aware he’d even been playing with it. Unease spread through his stomach and he stood up abruptly, accidentally tipping the chair over. It made a loud noise as it hit the floor, but he could barely hear it over the pounding in his ears.

“Ezra?” Hera called from the other room. A moment later she appeared in the doorway. “You okay?”

“Yeah,” he answered, picking up the chair. “Sorry.” 

She smiled at him, but there was no mirth in it. Her eyes were slightly pink, mascara smudges casting shadows underneath them.

It didn’t take superpowers for Ezra to know that something had been different between Hera and Kanan this past week. He hadn’t heard them arguing or even the hint of a raised voice. He didn’t need to; the small details were screaming at him. No witty banter, no kisses on the cheek. When they spoke to each other around him, it was cordial rather than warm.

And Ezra knew it was all his fault. 

Hera seemed to guess what he was thinking. “Hey, let’s do something fun today,” she said, her smile becoming more genuine.

“You don’t work today?”

“My assistant manager can manage the garage. It’s what I pay her for anyways.”

“Yeah, that would be great.” He half meant it. Part of him just wanted to crawl back into bed, but he got the sense Hera needed a distraction just as much as he did. Besides, he hadn’t left the apartment in a week. “Let me just get dressed.”

Ezra had been wearing different combinations of sweats and t-shirts all week, so it felt strange wearing jeans. It was nice having options of clothes to choose from. After four years on the streets he was still getting accustomed to having a full closet. He’d allowed Hera to take him shopping and she’d gone slightly overboard. He was pretty sure he now had enough pair of gloves to go a month without repeating a pair.

Standing in front of the mirror, he frowned. While his image had never been a priority the past few years, he’d caught a few glimpses of himself. His reflection was almost unrecognizable now. With all the food they kept piling on his plate, the sharpness of his face had rounded, his frame filled out more. It made him look older, or at the very least his actual age. 

The haircut also helped, though it was a terrible one. Hera had offered to fix it for him, but the suggestion had set off another panic attack. No, it was better if no one else touched his hair. 

Hera was waiting for him in the kitchen, her customary mug of tea in her hands. She’d touched up her makeup, erasing all evidence of earlier tears. 

“Ready?”

Ezra nodded and started to slip on his jacket. He paused, a thought suddenly occurring to him. “Uh, is it smart to be leaving the house?” Both Kanan and Hera had come and gone from the apartment the past week, but maybe it was best for him to stay inside.

“I think as long as we go someplace open and crowded, we’ll be okay. If they knew where we lived, they’d have barged in already. But it’s totally up to you. We can order pizza and watch a movie. I just thought you might want to get some fresh air.”

Flashes of an empty alley, a syringe in his neck, the sound of quiet laughter rose to the surface. Ezra gritted his teeth, driving the memories to the back of his mind. He couldn’t keep hiding. Eventually he’d have to move on with his life.

“No, I want to get out of here.”

The day was surprisingly warm, so they decided to grab food and sit at a park. It was relatively crowded. Though they sat a distance away from the playground they could still hear the screams of kids playing. Normally not the most pleasant of sounds, but after a week of sitting in his room alone, Ezra was comforted by the presence of other people. Still, he couldn’t stop himself for checking the faces of everyone around him, almost expecting to see the familiar cold smile of the Inquisitor.

“Have you heard from Cal?” Ezra asked. He wasn’t exactly eager to practice again, but it was the only way to ensure nothing like last week would ever happen to him again.

Hera shook her head. “No. He’s been out of contact, pursuing a lead.” 

“So, what exactly does the—” he paused, trying to think of the name he’d heard her use, “—the Rebellion do?”

Hera glanced around before answering, her voice quiet. “Depends. Some people go undercover to gain information. Cal does that a lot, which is why we probably haven’t heard from him. Others find safe places for Wielders to go into hiding. Sabine’s brilliant when it comes to hacking so she sometimes helps obtain records and such.” 

“What do you do?”

“Before I met Kanan I’d take temp jobs in E.M.P.I.R.E. offices. You’d be surprised how easy it is to go unnoticed as a secretary. Men—no offense,” she added, the corners of lips turned upwards, “tend to ignore the woman dropping off their coffee. I’d overhear their conversations and then pass that information along.” She took another bite of her sandwich before continuing. “Unfortunately, they’ve gotten smarter since then. Too many plans sabotaged. Going undercover is significantly more dangerous.”

“Which is why you stopped?” Ezra asked.

Hera didn’t reply right away. “No,” she finally said. “Kanan changed everything. I couldn’t bear the thought of somehow getting caught, leading them to him. He’d already been through so much.”

Ezra suppressed a shudder, recalling the overwhelming imprint Kanan had left on the book. “What happened?”

“That’s not my story to tell.” There was a distant look in her eyes for a second, but she blinked, and it was gone. “Anyways, these days I mostly collect and pass along information. There’s still so much about E.M.P.I.R.E. that doesn’t make sense and we’re trying to piece everything together.”

“Seem pretty cut and dry to me,” he said, his tone dripping with bitterness.

Hera pursed her lips. “Things don’t add up. Reports show that some Inquisitors join voluntarily, and some are forced…” she trailed off, an uncertain expression on her face.

“I’m okay, we can talk about it.” Ezra gave what he hoped was a convincing smile.

She reached over and squeezed his hand. “They only select Wielders with powerful abilities to become Inquisitors. Others they experiment on. We’ve always assumed they dispose of the rest, but we can’t find any proof of that. And something the girl told you has been nagging me. Maybe we have this all wrong.” 

“She said they wanted to make me stronger,” Ezra said slowly, processing the words. “But if you’re an organization hellbent on ridding the world of Wielders, you wouldn’t want to make them even more powerful.” 

“Exactly. It’s not the smartest move to torture a bunch of people with superpowers and expect them to stay on a leash. I don’t believe we’re seeing the bigger picture.” She was quiet for a moment. “Ezra, I know you’re angry with Kanan for not telling you the truth. But I promise you he didn’t want to scare you.”

Ezra started, thrown off by the change of subject. “I’m not mad at Kanan,” he said tentatively. 

How could he explain it in words that would make her understand? It was more than mere shame; it was a constant presence. Every thought, every emotion tainted by it. 

If he closed his eyes, it was like being back in that moment. Ezra might not have been in his right mind, but the memory was still sharp as any other. Looming over Kanan, hearing him plead for his life. Ezra had been the reason behind that fear. And for the briefest moment he had taken such pleasure in it. Someone as strong as Kanan had been afraid of _him._ The feeling was intoxicating. 

Hera was studying him, her face soft and pained. Almost as if she were expecting him to shatter into pieces any minute. Ezra averted his gaze. Force, he was so tired of their sympathy. They meant well, but it only made everything worse. Poor damaged Ezra. Always needing to be saved, even from himself.

The wind picked up, stinging his cheeks. He realized he’d been crying, and he ducked his head, ashamed of the tears. 

Hera gently touched his arm. “Ezra, you and Kanan are so alike.” She gave him a faint smile. “You’re both beating yourselves up. I promise you it wasn’t your fault.”

He tried to kill Kanan, and the man blamed himself? How pathetic.

Ezra swallowed, pushing down the thought as if it were bile. These flashes of contempt kept happening, but they didn’t feel like they belonged to him. His emotions this past week had been all over the place. It made no sense. The Inquisitor should have faded from his mind by now, but she kept slithering her way into his thoughts. It terrified him. 

He kept telling himself he should leave. Wait for the quiet of night and slip out. Let Hera and Kanan get back to their lives. It was the right thing to do. They didn’t need the burden of protecting him. But he was scared. On his own the Inquisitors might find him again. Only this time there would be no one there to save him.

Of course, there was another option. It loomed in the back of his mind, easy to ignore but still ever present. While it wouldn’t be as horrific as ending up tortured by Inquisitors, it wasn’t exactly that far behind. If he went through with it, he’d be betraying everything his parents had ever taught him. And the chances he’d even be able to find M—

“Ezra?"

He blinked. “Sorry,” he mumbled. “What were you saying?”

Hera’s eyes locked on to his. “I know you’ve only known us for a short time, but we’re here for you. You’re family. No matter what happens.”

The warmth of her words sparked something within him. For the first time in a week he felt like he could truly breathe. The gnawing guilt that had settled in his stomach subsided. It was far from gone, but at least it was a start. 

* * *

“Karabast,” Kanan swore as he dropped his keys for a second time. His walk had eventually led to finding himself in a bar. He’d only had a few drinks, but his brain felt somewhat light.

The third time he managed to get the door open. A mewling mound of orange fur swerved in between his legs as soon as he got inside. “Chopper,” he hissed, nearly tripping over.

Ezra’s door was closed with no light coming from underneath. Kanan stood with his ear pressed to it for a few seconds but couldn’t hear anything. The kid desperately needed a decent night’s sleep. Hopefully, the absence of whimpers meant he was finally getting one.

The door to the other room was also closed. He reached for the knob, only to find it locked. 

Perfect. Kanan rubbed at his eyes and stumbled back to the couch, resigned to the fact he’d have to sleep in his clothes. He had just settled comfortably on the couch when he heard the bedroom door open.

“What are you doing?” Hera asked.

“I thought maybe you didn’t want me sleeping in the bed,” he answered, sitting up.

“Force, Kanan, we’re not some cliché TV couple. Did you really think I’d lock you out?”

“Sorry,” he replied, slurry slightly.

Hera stared as if she was really seeing him. “Are you drunk?”

He winced at her tone and shook his head. “No, I’m not. Just tipsy. Promise.”

Something unreadable flickered across her face before it softened. Sitting down next to him, she put her head on his shoulder. He wrapped his arm around her and pulled her close. 

“I’m sorry,” he said. “I don’t want to keep fighting, Hera.”

“Me either.” She pulled back to meet his gaze. “I get that you want to protect me. But we’ve always been strongest together. If you think leaving is the best choice, I’m coming with you.”

“I know. Tomorrow the three of us are going to sit down and talk. Ezra deserves a vote.” He kissed her softly on the forehead. “So, why was the door locked?”

Hera laughed. “I was working on something and Chopper kept bothering me. Damn cat is too smart.”

Kanan snorted and leaned his head on Hera’s shoulder. His eyes slid closed as she ran her fingers through his hair. All the anxiety from the past week melted away. It would be back tomorrow, but for now sitting in silence with her was enough to pretend everything was alright. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading and a hella thanks to to those who kudos and comment! I don't reply to each one, but I promise I'm so thankful and they really mean a lot.
> 
> Heads ups next chapter will most likely be posted in two weeks.


	9. Like Real People Do

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry my two week break turned into three. This chapter was a little challenging for me to write, so I hope you enjoy!

Ezra rapped his knuckles against the door, the fabric of his gloves stifling the sound. No answer. Had she fallen back asleep? It was stupid of him to ask if he could come over so early. He’d probably annoyed her.

The phone in his pocket vibrated for what felt like the hundredth time today. 

Force, you’d think Kanan would take the hint. He’d already let him know he hadn’t been kidnapped. The man had been practically nonexistent this entire week and now he wanted to talk? 

Ezra raised his hand to knock again, but the door opened before he could.

“Hey, sorry, was on the phone with my dad,” Sabine said. Her gaze immediately darted to his hair. Kriff, if Ezra wasn’t self-conscious about it before, he certainly was now. He could see the question start to form in her eyes, but it vanished with her grin. “Come in.”

“Sorry to bother you,” he said sheepishly, stepping inside her dorm. 

“You’re not, I promise.” She closed the door behind him. “So, what’s up?”

He didn’t answer. Overwhelmed wasn’t strong enough of a word. Every inch of wall was coated with color. Bursts of purple, yellow, and orange were most common, but the entire room resembled the aftermath of a rainbow throwing up. His mouth hung open as he took it all in.

Sabine laughed at his reaction. “We got tired of the tan.”

“You’re allowed to paint the walls?”

“Technically…no,” she replied. “But as long as we repaint at the end of the year, they’ll never know. 

Ezra traced a brushstroke of a multicolored owl. “I really like this. You’re amazing.”

“Thanks,” Sabine said, smiling. It lit up her face, creating crinkles in the corners of her eyes that Ezra found rather appealing.

Her expression turned questioning and Ezra knew his gawking had not gone unnoticed. He coughed. “Uh, so where’s your roommate?”

“Home for the weekend.” She sat on the edge of one of the beds, gesturing for Ezra to do the same. “I’m surprised you wanted to come here. Not that I mind,” she quickly amended, “just surprised.”

Ezra grimaced and sat down on the bed across from her. “I overheard Kanan and Hera talking last night. I think we’re leaving the city for a while.”

“Oh.”

Maybe it was Ezra’s imagination, but he could have sworn there was disappointment in her voice. No, he was probably just hearing what he wanted to. 

“Yeah, I don’t know where we’re going. I just kinda wanted to see you again.” He suppressed a wince, hoping she hadn’t picked up on the anxiety in his words.

“What happened?” she asked.

“Inquisitors. I don’t really want to get into it.” It didn’t escape his notice that she didn’t acknowledge the last part. Not that he expected her to say she also wanted to see him, but still. 

She nodded, her face solemn. “Do you know how long?”

“Nope.”

Sabine made a motion as if to tuck her hair behind her ears, despite it already there. “Maybe I’ll be able to visit? Once the semester is over. Beats being home.”

Excitement bubbled up in his stomach. The chances of Kanan and Hera agreeing to that were pretty slim. The point was to go into hiding after all. Still, he needed something positive to hold on to. Just that she wanted to see him again was enough for right now.

* * *

Kanan pinched the bridge of his nose. “This kid is going to be the death of me.”

Hera set down two mugs and joined him at the table. “Hey, you wanted to take in a teenager.” With the exception of a slight twitch to the corners of her mouth, she kept a straight face. Mostly. Despite her efforts, she couldn’t quite conceal the sparkle in her eyes. 

“Oh, really? Pretty sure that conversation went a little differently.” 

Hera shrugged, her smile gradually spreading. “Love, we both know you still would have done it without me.”

Would he have had? Without a shadow of a doubt, now that he thought about it. Kanan didn’t believe in fate, but there was no denying that there had been something about the kid. Something that made him risk his own safety. Billaba had found him when he was around Ezra’s age. Maybe this was the universe’s way of letting him return the favor.

Yeah and look how it had turned out. Some mentor he was.

“He hates me, doesn’t he?” Kanan asked. Ezra had every right to hate him. For lying, for not protecting him. 

“No,” Hera answered, taking his hand. “He blames himself for what happened.”

Kanan rubbed at his forehead. “Well I don’t. None of it was his fault.” How could it be? It was all Kanan’s. 

Hera pursed her lips, her face thoughtful for a moment. “Maybe tell him that? Instead of avoiding him.”

“I tried. He won’t talk to me.”

“You tried once,” she replied, disapproval leaking through in her voice. “He’s a teenager who’s hurting. It’s not going to be easy. Stop feeling sorry for yourself and help him.”

The words hit like a slap to the face. A much deserved one. The past week he’d been preoccupied with his own guilt, thinking the kid wanted distance. But Ezra was drowning. He didn’t need space. He needed Kanan to step up and pull him back into the boat.

Kanan squeezed Hera’s hand. “How are you always right?”

“It’s a gift,” she said with the the hint of a smile.

* * *

“Sorry, I just have to ask. What’s with the hair?”

Ezra stiffened. “It’s nothing,” he mumbled, sticking his hands in his pockets.

“Did you let Kanan do it?” Sabine asked, her eyes twinkling. “I can’t believe Hera—”

“I did it,” he replied, harsher than he meant to. “Sorry,” he added as Sabine flinched.

She blinked at him. “I can fix it, if you want.”

Ezra rocked on his heels as he considered it. The haircut did look awful. But there was a flash of fingers grabbing, pulling. Cold chimes of laughter reverberated inside his skull. He leaned against the wall to steady himself, nausea rolling in his stomach.

“It’ll be fast,” she promised. “I just need to neaten it.” She was watching him, and he knew what he must look like. A frightened rabbit on the verge of fleeing.

Force, he was being stupid. Sabine probably thought he was crazy or something. It was just hair. He couldn’t go his entire life terrified of others touching it.

“Okay,” he said, nodding numbly.

She slipped her arm through his and led him into the bathroom. Despite his panic, Ezra leaned into her touch, relishing in the reassurance it gave him. Her presence dulled the noise in his head. When they separated, a small pang of alarm rang through him and he had to resist the urge to pull her back.

Pull it together, Bridger. It’s just a kirffin’ haircut.

“Here,” Sabine said, bringing her desk chair over for him to sit. She rummaged through a container on the sink and pulled out an electric razor.

Ezra raised an eyebrow. “Why do you have one of those?”

“My roommate shaves her head,” she answered, turning on the razor. 

Ezra felt his heart rate increase the second the buzzing started. He swallowed, squeezing his eyes shut. Sabine ran her hand over a section of his hair. Though her touch was gentle, he couldn’t stop himself from trembling. He bit the inside of his cheek, hoping the pain would distract him. 

It’s fine, it’s fine. It’s not the Inquisitor, it’s Sabine. He was safe.

Was he though? E.M.P.I.R.E. would keep coming after him. He couldn’t run forever.

Ezra.

Eventually they’d find him. Once they did, _she_ could do whatever she wanted to him. Make him her pet. Played with him until he broke. 

Ezra?

Would there be any of him left or would he just be nothing more than an empty shell for E.M.P.I.R.E to control? A monster who reveled in inflicting pain. Torturing other terrified Wielders—

“Ezra!”

He opened his eyes, his stricken expression reflected back at him through the mirror. “Sorry,” he mumbled. “You can keep going.”

“I’m finished.” Sabine knelt down so that her eyes were almost at the same level as his. “What’s going on?”

Maybe it was the earnestness in her face or perhaps he had the desire to explain his strange behavior, but he told her. The abduction, the torment. Even attacking Kanan. It all came gushing out of him, an unstoppable flood of pent up terror and anguish. He almost even told her how the Inquisitor still lurked in his mind, but caught himself. Distraught was one thing, unhinged was another.

Sabine’s expression had remained neutral the entire time he had spoken, though her jaw went rigid as he mentioned E.M.P.I.R.E.’s plan for him.

“Force, I hate them,” she growled. “They destroy everything they touch.” 

The animosity in her tone surprised Ezra. “What—?” 

She took his hand in hers. Times like these made Ezra deeply miss his sense of touch. The gloves might keep his mind safe, but they also blinded him. He couldn’t feel the softness of a blanket nor the smoothness of a comic book’s pages. The warmth of a girl’s hand. A constant barrier between him and everyone else.

Sabine gazed up at him through long, thick lashes. Something soft flickered across her features and Ezra noticed just how close their faces were. For the first time he could see that her irises had flecks of gold, reminding him of honey. Ezra leaned in closer. After years of living on the streets and the events of the past few weeks, he was so tired of everything hurting. For once he just wanted to feel different. He wanted to feel alive. His eyes slid closed—

Sabine’s hand slipped from his, leaving him cold. “You’ll still be able to call, right?” she asked.

Ezra opened his eyes, twisting around in his seat. Sabine stood, her back to him. She grabbed a broom and started to sweep up the wisps of hair on the floor.

Incredible heat crept up his cheeks, stinging his ears, and he straightened up. “Um, yeah. I think so.”

“Good.” She took her time cleaning up the hair, her focus akin to that of a surgeon. Was he overthinking or was she purposely avoiding his eyes?

His phone vibrated again.

“I think I should go,” he said. “This might actually be the last time we see each other. Pretty sure Kanan is about to murder me.” He spoke lightly, infusing his words with laughter. But it sounded flat and unconvincing.

Sabine finally lifted her eyes from the floor. She smiled, but this time there was no crinkle in the corner of her eyes. “I doubt that, Bridger,” she said. Embarrassment for him read clear as day on her face and he had to look away.

If she were to rip out his heart and squeeze it, he doubted it would feel worse than how he did now.

“Thanks for the haircut,” Ezra said as he stood, trying to keep his voice even.

“Ezra, wait.” Sabine’s hand shot out as he went past, touching him on the arm.

He turned around, not quite able to meet her eyes.

“Good luck.” She opened her mouth as if to say something else, only to close it. There was something in her expression he couldn’t place. Regret? No, that didn’t make any sense. Probably pity.

Ezra’s mouth twitched in an attempt of a smile and he left without another word.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> For all Ezra/Sabine shippers, do not worry it is all part of the plan.  
> Poor boy just can't seem to catch a break, but it's going to start looking up I promise.  
> I don't really ever write romance so I'm hoping that little bit turned out okay. Sabine's been really tricky to write because how she acts in the first season doesn't really fit with the story line, but I also don't want to make her OOC. 
> 
> With classes starting I don't have as much time to write. My goal is to post every other week. I do have the tendency to procrastinate on school work by writing though, so it might be inconsistent. 
> 
> To everyone who has commented I greatly appreciate you. It's always nerve wracking posting something you've made and knowing people actually like it means a lot. Seeing that notification in my email really makes my day. So thank you.


	10. There's a Shadow Hanging Over Me

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> First of all I just want to thank all of you for being so amazing. I think last chapter had the most comments I've gotten. Words cannot express how happy I get seeing them so thank you!
> 
> Sorry this took longer than it was suppose to. I had about half the chapter written out and something happened with my laptop and I lost a huge chunk of it. Trying to remember exactly what I had written was not fun.

Kanan and Hera sat at the kitchen table. Well, more accurately Hera sat. Kanan perched at the edge of his chair, the heels of his feet bouncing. Every few minutes he’d stare at his phone and start to stand, only to reconsider it. Then he’d glance at the clock on the wall and start the whole process over again.

Hera, preoccupied with her notebook, kept listing off items they needed to finish should they decide to leave. Every so often she’d ask Kanan’s opinion, but he barely registered anything she said. He was just about to stand up again when Hera’s hand shot out and grabbed his. “I swear if you check the clock one more time,” she said. “He said he was almost home. He’s fine.”

“It was reckless of him to go out on his own. I should have picked him up.”

“Yeah,” Hera said with a snort. “That would have gone over well.”

He opened his mouth for a brilliant retort but didn’t get the chance, the sound of the front door interrupting him It was soft, almost as if Ezra didn’t want to be heard. 

“Kitchen, kid,” Kanan called.

A few seconds later Ezra appeared in the door frame. He hovered there, face tight, fiddling with the hem of his gloves.

“Come sit with us, hun,” Hera said.

At first Ezra didn’t move. Kanan was no mind reader, but he didn’t have to be. The kid’s thoughts were practically plastered all over him. Everything in his body language screamed of his desire to run. To hide from them. 

Hera traded Kanan a questioning look that probably matched his own. “You’re not in trouble,” he said, his tone gentle. “We need to talk to you about something.”

Ezra winced and dropped into a chair, eyes pointedly avoiding Hera and Kanan. “Just tell me when,” he said, rather brusquely.

“Excuse me?” Kanan asked. 

“I heard you guys talking last night. We’re leaving.” The was something odd in the kid’s voice. Like he was forcing it to be flat, refusing to allow any emotion to break the surface.

“Kid, you okay?”

Ezra nodded without a word. So that was a no.

“You know you can tell us anything,” Kanan prompted. Come on, kid. Give them something to work with. 

Crickets. Kriff, he was awful at this whole guardian thing. Billaba had always had the right words whenever Kanan had been in one of his moods. And she had been younger than he was now. More than ever he wished she were here to pass down her guidance. She’d know exactly what to say to the kid. Though she probably wouldn’t even need to. If she were around to protect Ezra, none of this mess would have happened.

Hera nudged Kanan gently in the side. “Talk to him,” she mouthed.

“I’m trying,” he shot back. 

Kanan stilled. What had Billaba always taught him? There was no such thing as trying. Either you believed you would succeed at something or you didn’t. All this time Kanan had allowed his self-doubt to convince him he was failing. And while he could tell himself at least he was trying to understand the kid, in the end it didn’t matter. Trying wasn’t good enough. He needed to let go of his own insecurities and _actually_ help Ezra.

Hera had mentioned the kid had sounded better after their lunch in the park. What could have happened in less than a day to upset him? That they were leaving town for a bit? But that didn’t make sense.

Ezra was used to being on his own with no home to return to every night. He’d only lived with them for a little over a month. There had been moments where Kanan had thought they’d connected, but the kid was still guarded, never letting him or Hera get too close. As if he was just anticipating for this little reprieve to be over. 

Kanan would know. All his childhood he’d been bounced back and forth between foster homes. At first, he’d been optimistic. Surely some loving family would find him. Want him. But eventually that hope faded. Every home was temporary. Just another stop in the endless shuffle. Even the vaguely happy ones. Only a matter of time before his little crumbs of home were taken away, so why bother clinging to them at all. Better to expect something to end. At least he could convince himself it hurt less when it finally did.

So no, the kid wasn’t upset about them leaving. He’d still have food, a bed to sleep in. The apartment had always been an illusion of home for him, nothing he’d allow himself to believe would be permanent.

And then another possibility dawned on Kanan. One so obvious he was an idiot not to see it sooner. Because there was someone the kid had grown attached to. Someone he’d risked his own safety in order to say goodbye.

“Ezra,” Kanan said softly. “Did something happen with Sabine?”

That got a reaction. Every muscle in the kid’s body tensed as he finally lifted his eyes to Kanan. Something dark flickered through them, but then it was gone so fast Kanan wasn’t sure if he’d imagined it or not.

“No. Nothing happened,” Ezra answered, the words all rushed together. 

Ah, there it was. 

The kid had failed miserably at hiding his crush. He stared a little too long at Sabine. Smiled wide when his phone buzzed with her texts. But Sabine didn’t let people in easily. Honestly Kanan was surprised that the two had developed a friendship as quickly as they had. If the kid had admitted his feelings, or worse made a move, then Kanan doubted it had ended in his favor. 

Before either Kanan or Hera could respond, Ezra said, ‘I’m sorry guys, I’m really tired. Tell me when we’re leaving, and I’ll be ready.”

He slumped in his seat, all his edges softening. Almost as if any energy left in him had simply melted away. 

“We haven’t decided yet,” Hera answered. “We wanted to ask how you felt about it first.”

“Wait, I get a vote?”

The genuine shock in the boy’s voice made Kanan’s insides ache. “Yeah, Kid,” he said. “We’re not your parents. It’s not our decision to make for you. I promised to protect you. If you want to stay here, I’ll figure something out.”

Ezra was quiet. “No,” he said finally. “You’re right, we should leave.”

“When do you want to do this Kanan?” Hera asked. 

While Kanan was immensely grateful there had been no further sign of the Inquisitors, he’d be lying if a small part of himself wasn’t bothered by it. All their resources and they hadn’t found them yet? Or maybe the Inquisitors were playing with them, waiting for Kanan to let down his guard and then snatch the kid again.

“We’ve waited long enough. Do you think we could leave tomorrow?”

Hera scrunched up her nose. “Possibly. There’s a lot to do, but I think we can manage tomorrow night if you guys start packing right away.” She stood up from the table. “I’m gonna make a few calls.”

Out of the corner of his eye, Kanan could see Ezra slowly rising from his seat as Hera left the room. 

“Kid, we need talk,” he began. Ezra froze like a deer in headlights, a sight that would have been comical in a different situation. “I know you don’t want to, but I think you need to.”

“Not tonight, Kanan,” Ezra said, his voice small. “I promise tomorrow, just not tonight. Please.”

Kanan had been intent on refusing to let the kid brush him off again. But there was something broken in the “please”, that made him reconsider. 

“I’m holding you to it.” Kanan stood up and squeezed the boy’s shoulder. “Kid, don’t ever think your opinion doesn’t matter. You get as much say in this family as any of us.”

Ezra’s brow furrowed as if he didn’t quite believe him. 

* * *

Heart pounding and covered in sweat was not a pleasant way to wake up. Yet once again Ezra found himself jolting out of sleep. He fumbled for the lamp switch, hoping light would chase away the last shadows of his nightmare.

“Kriff!” 

Sharp static electricity stung his fingers and he hastily pulled his hand away. Sitting up, he rubbed at his eyes. His heart slowed, the details of the dream already beginning to fade.

The Inquisitor had been in it. She always was these days. But something about this nightmare had been different. He could remember laughter, but it wasn’t the feminine rich laughter of the Inquisitor. Endless screaming, but it hadn’t been his. Most vividly he remembered pain. Sharp at first, and then disturbingly numbing pain. It had coursed down his arms to the tips of fingers. Even now he could faintly feel the ghost of it. 

“Get it together, Bridger,” he murmured. Soon they’d be on their way, putting the Inquisitors behind them. Hopefully at least. He pulled on his gloves and stumbled out into the living room. 

“Kanan—?” Ezra stopped short. Kanan sat cross-legged on the floor with his eyes closed. A Rubik’s cube lay in front of him, its various sides all mixed up. “Uh…what are you doing?”

“Meditating.”

“Okay,” Ezra replied, drawing out the word. “Why?”

“I sense a disturbance in the universe,” Kanan murmured.

“Wait, really?”

Kanan cracked open an eye, giving Ezra a sideways glance. The corners of his mouth quirked upwards. 

Ezra scowled. “Funny. I’ll leave you alone then. Guess we can talk later.”

“No, it’s okay. Take a seat.” Kanan stretched out a hand. The Rubik’s cube on the floor rose into the air and began to twist.

Ezra sat across from Kanan matching his upright posture. He watched in silence as Kanan attempted to solve the puzzle. After a few minutes Kanan’s hand began to waver and the cube dipped closer to the ground, its sides still spinning. The man’s face scrunched up, almost as if in pain. Ezra’s eyes flitted back and forth between Kanan and the floating block. 

When Kanan had finally finished matching all the colors, the Rubik’s cube tumbled to the ground. His shoulders relaxed as he grinned at Ezra.

“Impressive,” Ezra said flatly. “No offense, but is there a point to this?” The words came out harsher than he’d meant them. He’d been expecting some awkward heart to heart. Not _whatever_ this was. If Kanan was going to insist on the dramatics, Ezra could just go back to bed.

Kanan’s smile faltered. “How are you?” he asked, ignoring Ezra’s question. “We haven’t really talked since the Inquisitors.”

Ezra grimaced. “Never better,” he mumbled.

“Kid, sometimes you need to let your guard down,” Kanan said. “No one expects you to be fine after what happened.”

“Well, I am,” Ezra snapped. He winced. Kanan was trying to help and here he was again all broody. “I’m fine,” he said in a lighter tone. 

It was apparent from Kanan’s expression that he wasn’t convinced. “Really? Cause I’m not.”

The words caught Ezra off-guard. “What?”

“I’m not okay,” Kanan repeated. “Kid, I was terrified. Not of you—” he added as Ezra started to interrupt “—that I wasn’t strong enough to get us out of there. That I’d lose you. I’m still afraid.”

Ezra didn’t know how to respond. Kanan always seemed so sturdy. Like nothing could touch him. Even when facing off against two Inquisitors the man had kept cool. Floundering, Ezra opened his mouth only to immediately close it. 

Kanan laughed. “I know I exude all this confidence, but E.M.P.I.R.E. scares the crap out of me. I’ve been running from them half of my life. It’s why I’m so out of practice. But that’s going to change. You and I are going to practice our abilities every day.”

“But—”

Kanan held up a hand. “I don’t know the next time we’ll see Cal. I might not be psychometric, but I know how to hone an ability. Focus and discipline.”

“Really?” Ezra sneered. “ _You’re_ going to teach me? You can barely levitate a toy.”

He stiffened, his breath hitching. The words had just slipped out. As if someone else was speaking through his mouth. Force, what was _happening_ to him? 

He regarded Kanan, expecting some hint of anger. But there wasn’t any, only concern. Which was somehow so much worse.

“Kanan, I’m sorry,” Ezra said. “I didn’t mean that.”

“It’s okay,” Kanan replied. 

Ezra flinched. He didn’t deserve this kindness. Not after he just insulted the man who had saved his life. He pressed the heels of his palms to his eyes, almost to the point of pain. “No, it’s not. The Inquisitor—it’s like—like she won’t leave. But that’s never happened before. I don’t—"

“Hey, it’s okay,” Kanan said. 

Ezra barely heard him. “Something’s wrong with me—"

“Ezra, stop.” Kanan did not yell, but rather spoke with such authority that Ezra fell silent. He gently grasped Ezra’s arms and pulled them away from his face. “Kid, look at me.”

He lifted his head. Kanan’s teal eyes bore into him, demanding his attention. 

“This isn’t your fault,” he said. “It’s mine. I should have told you sooner, but I just—”

“What are you talking about?”

Kanan rubbed the back of his neck, biting his lip before answering. “Cal told me that sometimes strong impressions can linger. Traits from the person you’ve sensed. She held on to you for a long time, and I think it’s been affecting you.”

The words hit Ezra like a punch to the gut. Traits lingered? All these ugly thoughts and random bursts of anger weren’t his fault? The revelation should have brought him comfort, but it hadn’t. It didn’t matter that these feelings weren’t wholly his own. They were a part of him now and would always be.

_We aren’t so different._

The girl’s words echoed inside in his brain. She’d been right. One way or another she’d made him like her.

“Hey.” Kanan’s voice was soft. As if he’d known what Ezra had been thinking, he said, “You’re _not_ like her, kid. I’m going to help you get through this.”

“How?” Ezra managed to croak out. 

“When my ability first started, I could barely control it. I was angry and scared, which only made it worse. But someone taught me how to focus, calm my mind. I’m going to teach you the same. We’re going to start by meditating. Every day. And then you’re going to practice your ability just like you did with Cal. We’ll stick to small stuff until he’s back.”

Ezra grimaced, but nodded. 

“And kid, no more secrets. I didn’t tell you what you needed to know and I’m sorry. From now on I’ll tell you everything.”

“I—thank you, Kanan.” 

Kanan waved his hand vaguely. “Don’t. I should have told you the truth from the start.”

“No. I mean for everything. Saving me from them. I—" There was so much to say. Before the Inquisitors he never really allowed himself to believe that Kanan truly cared. That anyone could care about him. Certainly not enough to risk everything to protect him. But the words felt thick in his throat and he couldn’t bring himself to utter them, so he just added, “Thank you.”

Kanan smiled. “Of course, kid. Hera should be back in a few hours. Until then I’m going to show you the basics. Close your eyes, focus on your breathing. Clear your mind.”

Easier said then done. Still Ezra listened, and tried his best to block everything out, with little success. 

_We aren’t so different._

* * *

“You’ve got to be kidding me.” Ezra stared up at the RV, wide eyed and horrified.

Kanan elbowed him gently. “Would you rather be crammed into some tiny car?”

“I thought we were doing like hotels or stuff.”

“We will,” Kanan said. “But it’s best we keep moving. Come on, it’ll be fun,” he added as the kid’s face soured.

“If you say so,” Ezra muttered.

“Hey, when you boys are done chatting,” Hera called from the apartment door. “I could use some help bringing all this stuff out.”

It didn’t take long to pack the RV. Most of their belongings were being left behind until they returned. Kanan tried not to dwell on the large possibility that they never would. Ezra’s gift was powerful, even Cal had been surprised by its strength. As long as E.M.P.I.R.E. existed, he’d be hunted. 

Kanan was no stranger to running. He’d run away from his last foster home, run away from the monsters that killed Billaba. Ran for years from Inquisitors. It wasn’t until he met Hera that he had finally stopped. As thrilled as he was that they would still be together, he didn’t want to imagine that life for her. 

He unloaded the last box of food into the RV’s tiny kitchen. It was surprising roomy in the vehicle, enough for a table, couch, and even a small bed. It wasn’t an ideal living situation, but for the foreseeable future it would be good enough for home.

As he headed down the RV’S steps, his phone buzzed. He pulled it out, surprised to find messages from Sabine asking after Ezra. Before he could begin to type a response, he smacked right into someone. “Kriff!” 

“Oh, I’m so sorry,” a man said, his voice feeble.

“No, it’s my fault. Should have been paying attention.” Kanan picked up the man’s cane and held it out, only to pause. The man’s hood was up, partially obscuring his face. At first glance Kanan thought nothing of it. It was early enough for a significant chill in the air. From the man’s voice and cane, Kanan had assumed him to be elderly. But on closer inspection of his face, he couldn’t be that much older than Kanan himself. He lowered his eyes to the ground, pulling the hood further down.

Suspicion flashed within Kanan, as unnerving as if someone had dumped ice water over his head. He closed his eyes, telling himself to relax. He’d felt no hum, no pulling sensation. While certainly a little odd, the man was no Wielder. Even if he had been, it didn’t necessarily mean anything. There was a fine line between caution and paranoia.

The man took the cane from Kanan and uttered a quiet thanks. Kanan watched him as he continued down the street, a prominent limp in his steps.

“Kanan?” 

Ezra stood rigid on the steps, dark eyes glued to the man hobbling down the street.

Kanan raised an eyebrow. “Everything okay?”

“What did he say?” Ezra hurried over to meet him. 

“Nothing. Hey, what’s wrong?”

Ezra was no longer paying attention to him. He stared down the street, fists clenched tight at his sides. Nervous energy radiated off the kid, eerily similar to that of an animal with its hackles raised. It reminded Kanan strongly of the night they’d met, Ezra prepared to run or even fight should trouble arise. 

“Kid?”

Ezra’s head jerked back to Kanan. He blinked, his face settling into a blank mask. “Nothing. Forget about it.”

Yeah, because that had been perfectly normal behavior. 

Kanan touched Ezra’s shoulder. “Hey no secrets, remember? Works both ways.”

Ezra nodded. He hesitated and then replied, “It’s nothing. Promise. She’s messing with my head again.”

If the kid had managed to look him in the eye, Kanan might have believed him. But unless something fascinating on the sidewalk drew Ezra’s attention, he seemed incapable of it. Kanan considered pressing, only to decide against it. Whatever the kid was hiding he was determined to keep it that way. Enough to lie straight to Kanan’s face. “All right,” he said instead. “Let’s see if Hera needs us to do anything else.”

Ezra went back into the apartment, but Kanan didn’t follow right away. He could still glimpse the man hobbling down the sidewalk, as far from threatening as possible. Or at least appearing to be. _Something_ about him had spooked the kid. 

Kanan would be horribly naïve if he thought one heartfelt conversation would be enough for the kid to trust him completely. Still it didn’t make it any less frustrating. All he could do was uphold his promises, both to Ezra and himself. But he also wasn’t going to let the kid off the hook. Later when Ezra’s emotions had calmed, he would ask about the man again.

When Kanan entered the living room Hera and Ezra were coaxing a very harassed looking Chopper into his carrier. 

“Okay,” she said upon noticing him. “Zeb is going to keep an eye on the apartment. Numa is running the garage while I’m gone. I think everything is all set.”

Kanan held up the cat carrier, bits of ginger fur peeking through. “You sure you want to bring him? I think Zeb likes cats.” 

Hera shot him a glare that could level statues. “Chopper is family.”

Almost as if on cue, a low hiss emitted from the carrier. Ezra eyed it, a dubious expression on his face. “Uh, I don’t think he agrees.”

Hera sighed. “He’ll be fine once we’re on the road.” She grew quiet, peering around the room, a wistful expression on her face. 

“Hey kid,” Kanan said. “Do you mind giving us a minute?” 

Ezra took Chopper from Kanan and headed outside. 

“You okay?” Kanan curled his arm around Hera’s waist, pulling her to his chest. 

“Yeah,” she answered. “It’s just a little weird. This has been our home for so long.”

He pressed her closer to him. “It’ll be here when all this is over,” he said, despite not believing it would ever be. But he didn’t want to worry Hera. Didn’t want to remind her of the burden he was placing on her. So instead he added, “Besides my home is wherever you are.”

Hera snorted. “Force, could you be any cheesier?” Her cheeks flushed, the hint of a suppressed smile on her face.

He kissed her then, every intention for it to be simple and sweet. Yet as he held her, the kiss deepened, all his anxiety over their uncertain future channeled into it. Hera returned it with equal fervor. It was an unspoken conversation, each assuring the other they too were frightened of what possibly lay ahead, and yet confident that together they could overcome any obstacle thrown at them.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So they're finally on the road! These last few chapters I've been focused more on relationships and it was Ezra and Kanan's turn. I wanted them to be on better footing before they left. Exciting things are coming!
> 
> Good news is I have a lot of the next chapter done. So it won't be a month. 
> 
> Thank you all for reading and being amazing.


	11. Questions I Can't Ask

Kanan sat with his feet propped up against the dashboard, watching the landscape fly by. “So, when is it my turn?” he asked. 

Hera arched an eyebrow, keeping her focus on the road. “You don’t exactly have a license, dear.” 

“I still know how to drive,” he protested. 

“Yes, but on the off chance we get pulled over, I’d rather not have an unregistered Wielder at the wheel.”

He wrinkled his nose at that, but knew she was right. Random E.M.P.I.R.E. checkpoints weren’t unheard of, especially near state lines. Still it didn’t make him feel any better. Hera had organized almost every detail and now she was doing all the driving. 

“How much is it costing us to rent this thing?” he asked. 

“We aren’t. I figured we’d be gone for a while and it was cheaper to just buy it.”

This was news to him. Last time he checked, their bank account barely had enough to cover rent for a few months. “Did you win the lottery and forget to tell me?”

“I borrowed some money. From my dad mostly.”

He wasn’t too fond of the nonchalant way she’d said that. “Mostly?”

“Well,” she replied, stretching out the word.

“Hera,” he said, swiveling in his seat to face her. “Tell me you didn’t.”

“You know this is what they do.”

He rubbed at his eyes. “Dammit Hera, I didn’t want the Rebellion involved with this.” He glanced back at Ezra lying on the bed and lowered his voice. “Please tell me they don’t know about him.”

“No, all I told them is we have a kid the Inquisitors are after. Cal is the only one who knows what he can do.” She paused. “Although Ahsoka might too. You never know with that ability of hers.” 

“It doesn’t matter, they don’t do anything for free. They’ll want to recruit him.”

Hera said nothing.

“You want them to?” Kanan couldn’t believe this. He’d never had an issue with Hera still working for the Rebellion, passing along information for them. In fact, he admired her fearlessness and desire to help others. But Ezra was still very much a kid. One that was terrified of his own ability. The Rebellion might be far from the Inquisitors, but they’d exploit his gift just the same. They wouldn’t care it could hurt him—possibly even change him. 

“No, I don’t,” Hera replied tentatively. “But I’d be lying if I hadn’t thought about it. His ability could really help them.”

“Yeah at the cost of his sanity,” he snapped.

“Which is why I haven’t told them, Kanan,” she said, equal bite to her voice. 

Anticipating the edge of an argument he was in no mood for, Kanan slumped back down in his chair, arms folded across his chest. The silence between the two of them stretched, growing unbearably uncomfortable with each passing second.

“You know,” Hera started, her voice slicing through the tension. “Cal seems to be all right. Maybe with practice Ezra will be too.”

“So what, we help him just so he can get recruited to be a solider? No thanks. The kid’s been through enough.”

“So has every other Wielder in the Rebellion. Ahsoka lost her brother. Kriff, Cal watched his father die during a mission last year.” She took a deep breath, and Kanan could hear the forced patience in her words. “I’m not saying Ezra needs to help. I just think once he learns to control his gift, he might consider it. He doesn’t have to fight, but there’s a lot of good he can do.”

“Fine,” Kanan replied through gritted teeth. “But until then I don’t want anyone knowing about his ability.”

“They won’t. I promise.” She paused before asking quietly. “We okay?”

His chest tightened with guilt that she even had to ask. “Always,” he answered, standing up to kiss her cheek. “Sorry, I’m just don’t want him to get hurt again.”

“I know that.” She spared him a two second glance before returning to the road. “I don’t either.”

He squeezed her shoulder in response before joining Ezra in the back. Plopping down in one of the table’s booths, he made sure to check for Chopper first. The mistake had already happened once, the scratches on his arm a nasty reminder. 

Ezra lifted his head from the comic he’d been reading. “Cal’s dad died recently? I thought he grew up in foster care with you.”

Kanan frowned. “You heard us?”

Ezra snorted. “Kanan, it’s a shoebox in here. And you guys aren’t as quiet as you think.” His face sobered as he tugged at his gloves. “Never thought my power would be this big of a deal. Seems everyone wants it.”

“Information is power, kid.” When Ezra didn’t respond, he added, “You don’t have to join the Rebellion. I didn’t offer to protect you from Inquisitors just to force you to work for the other side. You always have a choice.”

“I know. It’s just …” he trailed off, wincing. “So, about Cal?”

Understanding the kid’s need for a shift in subject, he answered, “Right. Um, Cal was adopted when I was sixteen. The guy turned out to be a Wielder. He sacrificed himself so Cal could get away after a mission went sour.”

Seems to be a common theme with Wielders. Kanan’s stomach twisted at the bitter thought.

“Didn’t you get adopted too? By the woman who—” He broke off and Kanan knew the word “died” had been on his lips, —"taught you?”

“Not exactly,” Kanan answered slowly. “She found me after I ran away from my foster home.”

“You never told me that.” Ezra sat up straighter, keen interest blossoming across his face. “What happened?”

Kanan shrugged. “Nothing exciting.” A lie, but he wasn’t quite ready to discuss it. Not that he ever really was. It had taken him, what? A year to confide in Hera?

“I thought you said no secrets,” Ezra replied, cocking his head.

Kriff, he should have seen that coming. Teens really had the remarkable ability of using adults’ own words against them, and Ezra was no exception. “Okay, tell me about the guy from yesterday and I’ll tell you all about my past.”

That wiped the smug grin off Ezra’s face. He dropped his eyes and mumbled, “Nothing to tell.”

“Come on, kid, I’m not an idiot.”

Ezra fidgeted more with his gloves, still avoiding Kanan’s gaze. “It’s really nothing. I thought he was someone else. Some homeless guy that use to bother me. But I was wrong.”

Oh, what Kanan would give to have mind reading as an ability. It certainly would make this whole guardian thing so much easier. 

He exaggerated a sigh. “If you can’t be straight with me kid, I guess you don’t get to unlock my tragic backstory.”

Ezra’s head jerked up, eyes flashing with annoyance. But it quickly subsided. “Fair enough.” Smirking, he picked up his comic and started reading again.

Kanan plucked it from his grasp. 

“Hey!”

“Just for that, we’re mediating. Come on, kid.” He sat down on the floor; eyebrows raised pointedly.

Ezra mumbled something that Kanan knew he’d never say in the presence of Hera, but he obeyed and sat down across from him. Kanan watched as Ezra closed his eyes and waited a few minutes before doing so himself.

Patience was a virtue. One he had perfected. He’d get his answers, only a matter of time.

* * *

Ezra opened his eyes, slightly disoriented. For a brief moment he expected to find himself on a rusty fire escape. He’d fallen asleep reading in one of the booths, his neck now stiff. Pain twinged down his back and he sat up to crack it. Despite his aching body, he’d slept soundly for once. No nightmares. Or at least none he could remember.

Night had fallen while he slept, yet a significant number of cars were still on the road. He watched them pass for a while, wondering about the people inside of them. When he’d been little, he use to do the same, making up stories about their lives. 

A man’s voice drifted up ahead from the RV’s stereo. It was faint, and Ezra could just barely make out the words. “ _They have been called monsters, but they’re not.”_

Wait a second, he recognized those words. He stood and inched closer to the front, careful not to make a sound. 

“ _They’re people, just like you,”_ the man said again.

A dull ache arose in Ezra’s chest, the phantom pain of a memory long ago. What had if been? A few weeks after his birthday? Right after his powers had started. He took another step forward, the voice growing louder. 

“ _E.M.P.I.R.E. wants to divide us. They’ve hurt your family and friends.”_ This time a woman spoke. Ezra closed his eyes, her voice triggering memories of soft forehead kisses and bedtime stories. The ache in his chest deepened and he steeled himself against the tears threatening to spill. Had it really been four years since he heard her voice?

Hera stared straight ahead at the road, oblivious to his presence. Kanan sat next to her in the passenger seat, leaning against the window with his eyes closed. 

Ezra stood slightly behind Hera. “What are you listening to?” he asked quietly, despite already knowing the answer. He needed to hear her say it. Needed her to confirm it was real and not just his own imagination. 

Hera started a bit in her seat as he spoke. “Sorry, I didn’t know you were awake,” she said. “It’s not too loud is it? It helps me stay focused.”

“ _That’s when we need to stand the tallest,_ ” the woman’s voice said. There was a crunching noise in the background, so faint it was easy to miss if you weren’t listening for it.

He’d been eating cereal when they’d recorded this. Cap’n Crunch mixed with Lucky Charms. The perfect blend of pure sugar. Strange, the details that stayed with him after so many years.

Ezra shook his head before realizing Hera probably couldn’t see him. “No, it’s fine. It’s a podcast, right?”

“ _We need to stand together. Because that’s when we’re strongest—as one_.”

“Yeah, _The Lothal Transmissions_. One of the few that weren’t afraid to be vocal in support of Wielders,” she answered. “It’s not online anymore but I had a few episodes saved. I relisten to it when things seem a little bleak.” She reached over and hit pause on her phone. “These two were always so passionate. So hopeful things could get better. But this was their last one. Went quiet when E.M.P.I.R.E. cracked down on censoring stuff like this.” 

“No, it’s because they’re dead,” Ezra said. How he managed to keep his voice void of any emotion, he didn’t know. 

Hera visibly went rigid in her seat.

Ezra swallowed. He shouldn’t have said anything. But he had and now it was too late to take it back “It’s—it’s my parents. They always defended Wielders, even before my power started. This podcast was their way of rallying others.” He paused, struggling to form the next words. “And they—they were killed for it.”

Refusing to say those words over the past few years hadn’t made the situation any less true. But after holding them in for so long, Ezra got the strange impression he had just solidified the fact his parent had been murdered simple for standing up for their beliefs. Their only crime wanting a better world for their son.

Hera’s eyes did not leave the road. Her mouth parted open and her knuckles went white as she gripped the steering wheel tighter. 

“They broke in at night,” Ezra continued, unable to stop now. Though he spoke quietly he might as well have been shouting. The only other sounds were passing cars on the road, and his voice filled the RV. “I heard a loud noise and then screaming. I—” He broke off. The words had burned his throat as he said them. He had never told anyone what had happened. What he had seen that day. He hadn’t even allowed himself to think of it. The past four years the memory had been buried deep inside of him. A sore left to fester, unable to heal.

“How did you survive?”

Ezra jumped. Kanan was awake now, or maybe he’d been the whole time. His eyes were fixed on Ezra, something indecipherable in them. 

“I hid. There was a crawl space in my closet,” Ezra answered. He could hear himself speaking but felt oddly detached from the words. Like he was listening to someone else tell the story. “They came into my room. I could hear them talking, trying to find me. Even after they gave up, I just stayed there. I couldn’t move. I stayed there all night. I—” His voice failed, and he had to take a moment to compose himself. “Found them the next morning. Could have been sleeping if not for all the blood. I packed up a backpack and left. And, well, you know the rest.”

“The police never showed up?” Hera asked, her voice wobbling. She sounded as if it was taking all her effort not to scream. Or maybe he was projecting. It was certainly how he felt at the moment.

Ezra gave a small hollow laugh. “We lived in a crappy part of the city. Wielders were disappearing all the time. No one cared.” 

“It might have been for the best,” Kanan said. “They would have tested you. Taken you away.”

“I wasn’t even thinking about that.” Ezra’s throat tightened. “I was just scared. So I ran. Like a coward.” Anger colored his next words. “Left them there all alone. Who does that? Who just runs?”

The questions hung in the silence that followed. Hera had gone so still that she didn’t appear to be breathing. And Kanan was staring at him; eyebrows drawn together, his expression horribly soft. Kriff, why didn’t he keep his damn mouth shut?

“Kid—” Kanan reached out toward him. 

Ezra dodged the act of comfort. “Now that you all have unlocked my tragic backstory,” he said, forcing some semblance of humor into the words. “I think I’m gonna go back to bed.”

Hera’s eyes darted to his reflection in the rearview mirror. “Ezra, I’m—I’m so sorry. If I had known, I wouldn’t have—”

“Don’t be.” And he meant it. “It was nice to hear their voices again.”

Force, he’d almost had forgotten what his parents had sounded like. Thinking of them had only brought pain. A distraction he didn’t allow himself to have. Couldn’t have, to survive on his own. But hearing them again, their words fighting for him and his kind, he couldn’t just let them fade away again. He owed them that much. Pointing to the phone he asked, “Can I borrow that?” 

Kanan handed it to him. Ezra headed back to the bed and rummaged through his bag for headphones. Lying down, he hit play and closed his eyes. His parent’s voices filled his ears.

It might have not been bedtime stories, but it helped him to imagine they were there as he drifted off to sleep.

* * *

Hera watched the road without blinking. Tears had begun to form in the corners of her eyes, a few of them trickling down her cheeks. Kanan touched her gently on the arm and she flinched. 

“Hey,” he said. “Let’s take a break. Find a rest stop.”

“No, I’m fine,” she replied, her voice strained. “I want to get out of the state by morning.”

“Hera, you haven’t slept since we left.”

“Kanan—” She broke off, pressing her lips together in a tight line. “No, I’d rather focus on driving right now".

“Okay,” he said softly. 

Kanan glanced back at Ezra lying on the bed. He looked so young, clutching the phone to his chest as if it were a teddy bear.

_Who does that? Who just runs?_

The kid had no way of knowing how those words would affect him. Even still, Kanan felt like he’d been punched in the face. He’d been asking those questions for years, unable to forgive himself for Billaba’s death. 

Some paternal instinct he wasn’t aware he had, urged him to gather Ezra up in his arms and tell him none of it was his fault. That he wasn’t to blame for his parent’s death or for running to save his own life. But he sincerely doubted the kid would be comfortable with that level of affection. So instead he went over and covered Ezra with the blanket he’d neglected at the foot of the bed. 

A few months ago, never in his wildest dreams Kanan would have thought he’d be taking care of a kid. Frankly, he’d never wanted children. While no one knew for certain why only a small population had developed abilities, numerous evidence was starting to suggest the gene could be passed down; a thought which terrified Kanan to no end. He couldn’t subject an innocent child to the life he led. Always hiding a major part of himself, frightened what others would think. What could happen if he were found out.

He’d always figured Sabine would be the closest thing he’d have to a daughter. But then Ezra had entered his life and here he was suddenly responsible for another human. Constantly worrying if he’d screw it up. Had Billaba ever felt this way?

He was just about to rejoin Hera when something caught his eye. His book, the one Ezra’s had unfortunately touched, was sitting on the table among Ezra’s comics. To be honest, he’d completely forgotten to pack it and was surprised to find it here. A napkin stuck out of the pages, almost like a bookmark. Had Ezra been reading it?

Kanan sat down at the table, cracking it open for the first time since Billaba’s death. He’d never been much of a reader. The only reason he’d started this one because it was her favorite first. She’d thrust it into his hands one night after he wouldn’t stop pestering her with questions. He’d devoured it, the parallels between it and their current situation not lost to him. Even though he knew she’d just wanted a little quiet, he always liked that the book was something they could share. Something other than constantly fearing for their lives, that is.

He flipped to the first page and began to read.

_Ash fell from the sky._

* * *

They’d only been on the road for a week and already Ezra was going stir-crazy. While the last few years had been less than fun, at least he hadn’t been cooped up. He’d had freedom to explore the city. Go where he wanted when he wanted.

Here in the RV, there was no place to escape. Nothing to do but read or sleep. Occasionally he listened to his parent’s podcasts, but Hera has only saved a few episodes and he had burned through them quickly. Neither Kanan or Hera had mentioned the whole parent confession debacle, and for that he was grateful. Still, he could see it in their faces that they wanted to, especially Kanan’s. 

He missed having privacy. It was nonexistent in the RV, with the exception of the minuscule bathroom. Even when Kanan kept Hera company at the front, there was still Chopper around to harass him. The furry little bastard had the habit of jumping up on his chest and head butting him until he got the pets he desired. He’d give anything just for an hour to himself.

When they stopped for gas that day, Ezra was the first one off the RV, beelining it for the little store. His relief was short lived however once Kanan caught up to him at the inside.

The man had been practically glued to him any time they stopped to get food or stretch their legs. While Ezra appreciated the concern, it was grating on his nerves. Kriff, he got kidnapped in broad daylight _once_ and suddenly he needed a babysitter everywhere he went.

Ezra was about to veer off, when Kanan touched his shoulder.

“Let’s just stick together,” he said. “It’s not going to take that long.”

“Kanan, the store isn’t that big. If anyone tries to grab me, I’ll yell stranger danger and you can come running.”

Kanan threw him a wry look. “Fine. Meet me by the cashier in ten minutes.”

Oh goody, a whole ten minutes to himself. He gave a mock salute—which Kanan merely deadpanned at **\--** and wandered down an aisle to peruse. Taking his time, he debated how far he could push the ten-minute rule without Kanan’s head exploding. 

He meandered toward the back of the store, finding a small stand containing a meager offering of magazines and cheesy looking paperbacks. No comics, to his disappointment. He’d already devoured the small stash Kanan have gifted him and was itching for something new. Maybe he could convince them to stop at a comic store and Kanan could uphold the offer he’d made weeks ago. With everything that had happened, that night felt like an eternity ago.

A chill traveled down his spine, the strong impression someone was watching him. He slowly placed the book he’d been holding back on the rack and turned— 

To find absolutely no one near **.** Weird. 

He checked his phone and decided against pushing Kanan’s buttons. The guy had uprooted his whole life just to keep him safe. As annoying as his constant presence was, Ezra couldn’t blame him for being overprotective. With two minutes to spare he headed toward the front, searching for Kanan amongst the aisles. And then he froze.

Standing at the coffee machine, filling a cup, was the Inquisitor. 

No. 

It—it _wasn’t_ possible. She couldn’t have found them. Not unless she’d been following them this whole time. But why wait? To torture him longer? Did she delight in the idea of him always on edge, just waiting to get caught?

Kanan, he needed to warn Kanan. His brain screamed at him to move, to run. But his body was numb, legs refusing to cooperate. Any second now she’d look up and spot him. Any second her lips would twist into that triumph smile that haunted his dreams. He could feel her fingers curled in his hair, hear her laughter in his ears. She tilted her head toward him—

“Something wrong?”

Ezra jumped at the weight of a hand on his shoulder. Kanan scanned his face, brows furrowing. How could he be so calm? He’d have to seen the Inquisitor; she was right there in front of them. Unless—?

Ezra turned back to the coffee machine. Now that the shock had worn off, he could clearly see the girl’s freckled face and long blonde hair only resembled the Inquisitor. He swallowed, the panic trickling away. “Sorry, I thought I saw something—someone.”

Kanan’s gaze followed Ezra’s. The girl finished filling her coffee cup and walked away, none the wiser they’d been staring at her. “The Inquisitor?” 

“Yeah, it’s stupid.” Heat crept up his neck. Force, Kanan must think he was losing it. Poor traumatized Ezra.

“No, it’s understandable. But kid, you threw a knife into her back. I doubt she’s in any condition to come after us **.** I’m more worried about her friends showing up.”

“You think I killed her?” Ezra asked quietly. It was a little surprising, and honestly rather concerning, it had taken him this long to think about it. He’d been too preoccupied agonizing over hurting Kanan to even consider he’d potentially killed another person. The notion he was responsible for ending someone’s life left a rotten taste in his mouth. Even if it was an Inquisitor.

“I honestly don’t know,” Kanan answered, glancing around for anyone in ear shot. “But we should get going. Hera’s waiting.”

Ezra hovered beside Kanan as he paid. His eyes flitted around the store for the girl but couldn’t find her. He’d been so certain it was the Inquisitor.

When they got back to the RV, Hera was leaning against its side, her face bright.

“Something happen?” Kanan asked.

“There’s been a slight change of plans,” she answered, sparkling eyes on Ezra. “Cal just called. He’s back from his mission and wants to join us for a bit.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Poor Ezra. I know the change to his parent's death was really dark, but this is a whump fic. I did want to balance out the angst so I'm nudging Ezra back to his sarcastic self that we know and love. 
> 
> Yes, Cal will be back and stick around. Don't worry Sabine will too very soon. These last few chapters have been a little slower, but exciting (and angsty) things are coming. 
> 
> I bought up the book from Ch 4 for two reasons. One to mirror Depa giving Kanan the holocron because he wouldn't stop asking questions, which I find hysterical. Two a few people commented on wanting to know the book so I gave another hint with the first line, it's easy to find. On the rare chance someone is currently reading it and recognizes the line, I sincerely apologize for spoilers. If you really like Kanan and Ezra's dynamic I cannot recommend it enough. In the twelve years since I first read it, another book has yet to usurp it as my favorite. 
> 
> Thanks for reading and commenting! I really appreciate yall!
> 
> Also I just want to say I hope everyone is staying safe. Lots of scary things in the news especially the fires on the West Coast.


	12. You Can't Choose What Stays and What Fades Away

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Guys I am so sorry this took so long. This chapter went through so many edits. Never have I had to kill so many darlings. The ending was originally completely different and you'll see bits of it eventually.
> 
> Let’s get back to some action.

Ezra stared down at the newspaper resisting the urge to tear it in half. The photo on the front page glared up at him as he read the article with fervor, absorbing every detail. “The Shadow”, as the press had dubbed him, had been the culprit of several bank robberies. Diligent in never getting caught on camera, never leaving witnesses. Well, sane ones at least. 

His latest heist had been more of the same. Police left baffled by lack of evidence. None of this surprised Ezra. He’d seen the articles before, chosen for the most part to ignore them. Except this photo had drawn his eye. Because this time, for the first time, “The Shadow” had left behind a message. One word carved meticulously in a wooden surface.

_“Apprentice.”_

Not just a reminder. But a warning. 

A soft meeping noise sounded as Ezra felt a nudge in his side. Absentmindedly he stroked the ginger cat, his other hand clenching the newspaper. 

First the encounter with Kanan and now this. After all this time, after believing he was finally free of Maul, the creep kept crawling back. What exactly was he trying to accomplish? Surely, he didn’t think Ezra would seek him out.

He’d been so stupid the believe the lies. To think Maul actually cared about him. Force, he’d give anything just to—

Ezra yelped, wrenching his hand back from the sharp sting of static electricity. Chopper hissed and sprang from the booth. He stared at his gloves. Getting shocked was one of those things he never really thought about until it happened. But lately that seemed to be more and more often.

“Everything okay?”

Cal sat down across from him, steaming cup of coffee in hand. Kriff, Ezra had been so preoccupied he’d never even heard the man. 

“Yeah.” Ezra casually tossed the newspaper aside. “Just bored. But what else is new?”

“Honestly, I need a little boredom,” Cal said. “It’s been a hectic year.”

In the week since Cal had joined them, he had told the most incredible stories about the different missions the Rebellion had sent him on. Infiltrating E.M.P.I.R.E. offices, stealing information, even smuggling young Wielders to safety.

Weirdly, Cal had been pretty tight lipped about his last mission, even to Kanan. The first night Cal had been with them he had mumbled something about “not in front of the kid” when Kanan had brought it up. Any time the two men had engaged in quiet conversation, Ezra attempted to eavesdrop. No such luck. Kanan seriously sucked at his no secrets promise.

Though to be fair, Ezra still hadn’t told Kanan the truth about Maul, evading the man’s subtle questions. He continued to convince himself that it simply wasn’t important. But honestly, he knew if he explained who Maul was, he would be forced to admit his own involvement. And he couldn’t stomach the thought of Kanan’s inevitable disappointment. 

“Do you want to try again with the guitar?” Cal asked, breaking Ezra out of his thoughts.

Ezra’s previous attempts of learning how to play music like Cal had—simply picking it up with his ability—had proven to be disappointedly unsuccessful. As long as his fingers physically touched the instrument he could play, understand musical notes. But the knowledge was stolen, limited to the memories left behind. And the second the contact ended, it all slowly evaporated. He’d stare down at the sheet music he’d played mere seconds ago only to find it complete gibberish. 

“Yeah, I’ll go grab it,” Ezra said.

The instrument lay near the front of the RV. Thanks to the fake driver’s license Cal had procured for him, Kanan drove, Hera beside him in the passenger seat. 

“I’m getting worried,” she said, her voice hushed, “It’s been over a week.”

“I’m sure she’s okay,” Kanan replied.

Hera noticed Ezra and smiled. “Hey. Have you talked to Sabine recently?”

Ezra grimaced. After a few attempts of contact, Sabine’s texts had fizzled out. He kept telling himself to respond, to at least try to move on from the awkwardness. He’d even typed out a few messages, only to delete them. Everything he wrote sounded so wrong and stupid.

“Not really,” he answered. “What’s wrong?”

Kanan’s brow furrowed. “Something happened at her school. A professor got fired for speaking out against E.M.P.I.R.E. Kids started protesting.”

“Sabine included,” Hera added.

Ezra couldn’t help but grin at that. It slipped from his face as he took in Hera’s stricken expression. “I’ll message her.”

Hera nodded as he picked up the guitar and headed to the back.

He’d spent the past few weeks torturing himself, replaying the disastrous scene in her dorm. In that moment, right before he’d tried to kiss her, _something_ existed between the two of them. Even though she had rejected him **,** she clearly still cared about him. Tried to reach out, to apologize. And he had been the one to pull away, to allow his own hurt to come between their friendship. What if something had happened to her? What if he never got to talk to her again?

He took off his gloves, trying to think of the right words to send her. But as memories of music filled his mind, sparking his fingers into motion, his own thoughts of Sabine melted away.

* * *

The following week dragged on. Driving constantly, couped up. Hera’s concern growing readily with every unreturned phone call. Everyday Cal gave him a few small objects, mostly Hera’s. Nothing of Kanan’s though, who appeared uncomfortable offering his stuff. Honestly after the book fiasco, Ezra agreed. Whatever Kanan’s tragic past included, Ezra had no desire to experience it for himself.

“You feeling any better about this?” Cal asked after their current session.

They’d parked for a day as a break from the road. The three adults sat around the table, observing him, Hera with curious interest, Kanan with unnecessary worry. 

Ezra slid his gloves back on, wishing he didn’t feel so self-conscious. Or like a monkey performing a trick. His head swam a bit, full of sloshing memories and emotions that weren’t his. “Kinda? I don’t know. I just feel really weird doing this with your guy’s stuff. Like I’m reading your diaries or something.”

Cal nodded. “You know,” he said to Kanan, “We passed that flea market on the way in. I could buy a few things. Switch up the training.

Ezra straightened, beaming eagerly. “Oh, can I go?” 

Kanan made a face. “I don’t know kid, there’s way too many people.”

“Love, think maybe you’re being a bit overprotective?” Hera asked, stroking a purring Chopper in her lap. “We’ve been pretty careful. If they were tracking us surely, they’d shown themselves by now. They’re not exactly subtle.”

Kanan narrowed his eyes at her, but there wasn’t much heat to it. “Cal, what do you think?”

Cal shrugged. “Honestly, I think it’ll be okay.”

“Fine,” Kanan grumbled. “Let me shower real quick.”

“Actually—” Hera smiled playfully at him. “Maybe just let the two of them go and we can relax here?”

Kanan hesitated. “I don’t think that’s smart.”

“I think I can handle keeping an eye on him,” Cal replied, smirking. 

“Yeah, one babysitter is plenty,” Ezra said.

Kanan threw him a stony look and sat back down. “Fine, just please be careful.”

“Kanan, it’ll be okay,” Cal said. He grabbed a backpack from an overhead storage cabinet and slung it over his shoulder. “Besides, the Inquisitors won’t attack with that many people around. E.M.P.I.R.E. doesn’t like reminding the normies that they have Wielders working for them. But just in case—” He tapped his bag, a mischievous smile spreading across his face. 

“Cal,” Kanan said, a warning in his voice. “What do you have?”

Cal’s grin widened. “Nothing that will hurt anyone. Just a little gift I’ve been saving from one of our Fulcrums in case trouble arises.”

“Fulcrum?” Ezra asked.

“Rebellion agents that don’t wish their involvement to be public to the rest of us,” Hera answered. Her eyes were on the backpack, her nose scrunched in distaste. “Only a few of the higher ups know their identities.”

“I don’t know about this,” Kanan said. “Not sure I trust anyone who won’t show their face.”

“You trusted Kallus.”

“Only cause of Zeb. Personally, I think he’s a dick.”

Cal rolled his eyes. “I promise we can trust this one. Their tec has saved my ass more than once. But if you want someone else’s opinion”—slipping off the bag he pulled out a small metal sphere, no larger than a baseball, and held it out to Ezra— “Touch it.” At Ezra’s hesitation, he added, “I promise there’s nothing bad.”

Ezra pulled off a glove and took the sphere from Cal. Intense emotion hit him at once. Nothing painful, just…startling. Echoes of determination to help, to make up for past wrongs. The need to prove she was more than the mistakes of her family.

And there was something else as well. A familiar feeling, a sort of brightness that warmed Ezra from the inside. He hesitated before giving Cal back the sphere, not wanting it to fade. That in itself surprised him. Rarely did he ever touch something that left him feeling better.

“It’s okay,” he assured Kanan and Hera. “I can’t explain it, but I know it’s someone we can trust.”

Kanan crossed his arms. “I have a bad feeling about this.”

“I’ll keep an eye on him,” Cal said. “And force forbid something happens all our cells can track one another.”

* * *

Ezra had never seen so much junk in his life. The flea market stretched for miles; endless rows of tables covered in everything imaginable. Baseball cards, watches, cooking pans, you name it. One table was buried underneath piles of underwear, though whoever was crazy enough to buy those used, Ezra didn’t know. 

The place was packed, people swarming all about. He stuck close to Cal as they maneuvered through the crowd, trying not to get lost in the sea of bustling activity. They’d been there for a little over an hour, and already Cal’s backpack had grown significantly fuller. Currently they were perusing a table full of small children’s toys.

“Uh, why exactly are we looking at this stuff?” Ezra asked. Somehow getting stuck in the emotions of five-year-olds didn’t really appeal to him.

Cal laughed, running his fingers over building blocks. “Kids tend to have very creative imaginations. And they tend to be happier than adults.” He picked up a stuffed dog and immediately dropped it, wincing. “Of course, there’s always exceptions.” He blinked a few times. “I’m gonna take a break, let my head clear.”

They wandered around, ending up at an enormous set of tables selling books. Cal picked up one with a guitar on the front and began flipping through it. 

“Do you mind if I look at the comics?” Ezra asked, pointing to a table a few over.

Cal considered it for a second and replied, “Yeah, but just stay in sight, okay?”

Ezra tried not to let the annoyance show on his face. This better not be the rest of life. He imagined his twenties, Kanan never leaving his side. Kriff, he’d go crazy. 

He examined the comics, occasionally choosing issues to thumb through. Even with gloves on, he couldn’t help the anxiety rising in him. Who knew how many people had touched these. All the thoughts and emotions attached them. His fingers tingled a bit, just thinking about it.

Something, as if his name had been called, caught his attention. He turned, half expecting Cal calling him over. But no, Cal was still looking through the books. Ezra shook his head returning to the comic. 

And there it was again. A strange sensation of someone watching him. Ezra put down the comic scanning the nearby tables. 

Standing a few stalls away, stood the Inquisitor. 

Ezra swallowed, feeling his legs turn to rubber. No. It wasn’t her. Another girl who looked similar. A trick of the mind. Just like at the gas station. He rubbed at his eyes, expecting when he reopened them for her to be gone.

She wasn’t.

The world around him blurred, leaving only her in crystal clear focus. There was no doubt this time that it was someone else. He’d seen her in enough nightmares to recognize those features.

Thunder hammered in his ears as he watched her study the crowd. He twisted frantically towards Cal. Only to find the space empty. The man had been right there a few seconds ago. Ezra searched nearby tables, the sound in his ears growing louder, his heart pounding fiercely against his chest, threatening to burst forth. Cal was nowhere to be seen. Gone.

Ezra began to move through the crowd, pulling out his phone only to find it completely dark. Karabast. He spared a glance behind him. The girl too pushed through groups with precision, taking in every face. So, she hadn’t spotted him yet. 

Could he remember how to get back to the RV on his own? The walk over had been maybe twenty minutes. Thirty at the most. Kanan would be livid, but Ezra didn’t have any other options. He needed to put as much distance between him and the girl. 

* * *

Kanan relaxed on the tiny bed, Hera’s head laying against his leg as he ran his fingers through her hair. She hummed a soft contented noise. The shades of the RV remained pulled down, the lights dimmed, leaving the two of them in quiet darkness.

“You know,” Hera murmured, her voice a little husky, “I honestly think someone playing with your hair is one of the best feelings in life. Possibly the best.”

Kanan laughed. “Really?” he asked. “I can think of something far better”

She scrunched up her noise “Love, the second we get privacy I’m all yours.”

“Hera?”

“Hmm?”

“It’s been awhile since we last talked about it,” he trailed off, swallowing, “and I know things aren’t ideal right now, but maybe once this is all over—”

“Kanan,” she interrupted him, her voice unbearably soft. “You know how I feel about this.”

He did. Why did he keep punishing himself by bringing this up? Every conversation had ended the same. But after all this time, he still didn’t truly understand why. For years he’d been afraid of asking the question that plagued him. That ate away at him every time she’d said no. 

“Is it because of what I am?”

Kanan winced at the frailty in his voice. Kriff, he regretted it immediately. Should have just left it alone.

Hera jerked back, sitting up straight to look at him. “No,” she answered firmly. “You know that’s not it.” She bit her lip, her eyes falling down to her hands. “Okay maybe a little. But not in the way you think,” she hastily added. “Kanan”—she touched his cheek delicately— “if we were to get married, legally married, there’d be a record of it. And love, you aren’t supposed to exist. Kanan Jarrus doesn’t exist. All it takes is one slightly intelligent, overachieving E.M.P.I.R.E. agent to realize something isn’t right.”

“Then we don’t make it legal,” he replied. “People do it all the time.”

She pulled her hand away. “How is that any different than what we are now?”

“Hera—”

A burst of music interrupted him, both of them flinching from the noise. “Perfect,” Kanan mumbled, as he stood up from the bed to grab his cell.

Cal’s name flashed across the screen and he answered it. “You guys on your way back?”

“Kanan,” Cal replied. Kanan tensed at the abruptness in the man’s voice. **“** I don’t know why, but Ezra just took off.”

His fingers gripped the phone tighter. “What?”

Kanan hit the speakerphone button, placed the phone back on the table and frantically grabbed at his shirt laying on the floor. Hera’s eyes widened.

“I don’t know,” Cal continued. Kanan could hear several voices in the background all blurred together. Someone shouted an expletive, followed by Cal mumbling an apology. “I was looking at something and when I turned back, he was pushing through the crowd. I went after him, but we got separated. Right now I’m tracking his phone.”

Kana finished pulling his sweatshirt over his head. “Okay, we’re on our way.” He pounded the end call button and opened the tracking app Cal had installed. “Dammit, kid.”

Hera put her hand on his arm. “Why would he just leave?”

Kanan shook his head. His fingers were shaking lightly, making it difficult to use the phone. The whole situation was too familiar. He never should have let the kid out of his sight. If they found him, if they managed to take him. No, thinking this way wasn’t going to help anything.

He swallowed, trying to clear away the obtrusive thoughts. “I don’t know.”

* * *

Ezra quickened his steps, careful not to move too fast to draw attention. As he maneuvered through the throngs of shoppers, he kept a sharp eye out for a glimpse of red hair. Every so often he’d check behind him, but even the girl had disappeared from view. Whether or not that was good, remained to be seen.

Eventually the crowd thin, the last of the tables marking the end of the fair. Ezra’s stride widened as he turned down a street, thankful for recognizing it from the walk over. Though near where close to out of the woods yet, no Inquisitor appeared behind him. He allowed himself to relax, reveling in the feeling of his heart returning to normal.

And then he heard it.

A feminine voice, a plea to be let go, sounded from an alley as he passed it. Ezra froze. No, he needed to get back to Kanan. To find Cal and leave this city behind before the Inquisitor could spot them. But then another cry, terror as clear as day. The kind of noise no decent person could simply ignore. Despite knowing he’d probably regret it, he followed the source.

Three figures stood halfway down, hidden within the shadows. Two teenagers, a boy and a girl, cowered against the wall, trapped by a lean man.

“I swear we don’t know,” the boy pleaded. “I thought he was one, but I was wrong.”

The older man made a tutting noise. “Now come on. You promised me names. I’d rather not do this this hard way.”

He stepped closer to the girl. She screamed once more, and he grabbed her by the arm. Then leaning in closer, he whispered something Ezra couldn’t hear. Her eyes went wide, her pleas dying out. 

“Get away from them!” Ezra shouted. 

The man’s head cocked to the side, regarding Ezra as if he were spilled coffee on a shirt, nothing more than a minor inconvenience.

Over his shoulder the man said calmly, “You’re going to leave and forget you saw this.”

There was something…something strange in his voice. Ezra didn’t know how exactly, but it thrummed full of power. An authority that demanded Ezra obey, even though he didn’t want to. But the feeling merely brushed against him, the desire to leave sliding off him like water.

Ezra didn’t move. “Let them go,” he repeated, louder this time.

The man straightened. His lips curved upwards. “A Wielder,” he said, his voice normal. “How interesting.”

He dropped his hold on the girl. “Stay put.”

While the command wasn’t directed toward him, Ezra could still sense the pressure in the words. Though free, the girl remained motionless, no attempt to escape, not even when the boy pulled on her arm. The man turned his full attention toward Ezra, eyes sparkling with keen interest. “You’re having a very unlucky day, kid.”

Ezra’s throat tightened as he unconsciously took a step back. He’d heard rumors of Wielders with this type of ability. Vile and dangerous. Though not the most terrifying he’d encountered. Maul’s easily won that contest. 

His body screamed at him to run, but he couldn’t just leave the teenagers at the mercy of the creep. “I’m not surprised,” he stammered.

The man tilted his head. “About what?”

Ezra swallowed, forcing a smirk. “That you’d have to bully kids.” Confidence he didn’t really feel colored his words and he managed a small laugh. “What, are adults too scary for you?”

Annoyance flashed in the man’s eyes. “Leave us,” he snapped, his focus never leaving Ezra. The teens jerked like they’d been electrocuted and sprinted away. 

Kriff, now would be a good time to start running himself. He turned on his heels.

“Hello there, Ezra.”

Adrenaline shot through him and he stepped back, his breath hitching. The Inquisitor stood before him, her amber eyes glinting like a feral cat’s as she watched his reaction. Ezra’s mouth went completely dry, every nerve in his body on fire.

He whipped around.The man had moved closer blocking any attempt of escape. He stared past Ezra, arching an eyebrow. Ezra heard the low laughter of the girl. The sound sent fresh waves of panic throughout his body. 

“I’m impressed. They normally start running by now,” the man said, his attention sliding back towards Ezra. “Unless you don’t know what I am.”

“An Inquisitor,” Ezra answered, his voice barely a whisper. 

“Very good,” the man replied. “It just happens to be my day off, but I guess there really is no rest for the wicked.” He studied Ezra intently for a moment. “Wait a minute. You’re that brat everyone is looking for.”

As the man stepped closer, Ezra instinctively moved back. But he heard the girl laugh once more and froze. 

Force, how could he be so stupid? Once again, he’d allowed her to trap him. Only this time she’d be smarter. There would be no phone call to Kanan. He’d simply vanish. Just another Wielder taken by E.M.P.I.R.E. No one would save him.

“I think—” he heard the girl start to say.

A silver sphere rolled past from behind him, settling in between him and the man. High pitched beeps emitted from it. 

The world went purple. Thick plumes of smoke exploded from the ball, filling the alleyway, obscuring his vision. He heard the male Inquisitor swear before someone grabbed hold of his arm. Stark fear surged through Ezra, but it wasn’t the girl.

“Run!” Cal’s voice shouted through the smoke.

Ezra’s feet didn’t seem to want to move. “Where’d she go?” Ezra asked, trying not to choke. 

Cal didn’t answer. He just started running, pulling Ezra with him. “Come on. That won’t distract him for long.” 

He shoved Ezra forward, digging another silver sphere out of the bag. He hurled it back towards the direction of the Inquisitor. Ezra heard the faint hiss, sparing a glance back to see orange sparks, so bright they were blinding even from a distance. Almost like fireworks. Cal caught up to him.

“This way!” He pulled Ezra down another street, slightly populated with people. Ezra figured they would stop, try to blend in. But Cal kept going, and Ezra had no choice but to follow. They tore down the street, weaving in and out of people, leaving behind annoyed cries.

After several minutes, Ezra’s lungs couldn’t take it any longer. He stopped, leaning against a store window to catch his breath. “Sorry, I just need a second.”

Cal stopped abruptly, frowning. He kept watch on the street behind them.

“How’d you even find me?” Ezra asked.

“Your phone,” Cal answered. “The tracker, remember? When I turned around you were just gone. Not the smartest move, kid.”

“But—” Ezra took the dead phone out of his pocket. Only it wasn’t. The screen lit up, displaying several missed calls. “I don’t—”

Cal’s face darkened, staring past Ezra. “We need to keep moving.” 

They continued on, walking briskly rather running. “This way,” Cal said after a while, and they turned down an empty side street. They were about halfway through it when two people came running into view from the other side.

“Kanan!” Ezra ran to him.

Kanan latched on to his shoulders. “You okay?”

“Inquisitors,” Ezra answered, his voice breathless. “I think we lost them though.”

Cal frowned, opening his mouth to say something, but didn’t get the chance. Kanan’s head snapped up and he pushed Ezra behind him. “Hera, take Ezra and get back to the car.” 

“Oh, but that would ruin all my fun,” said a voice. The male Inquisitor sauntered into view and grinned at them. “Did you really think a little smoke would keep you safe?”

Kanan didn’t hesitate. He threw out his hand. The Inquisitor went flying sideways into the brick wall where he hung there, struggling against Kanan’s force on him. 

“Ezra,” Kanan said through gritted teeth as he moved closer to the Inquisitor. “Go, we’ll be right behind you.”

Ezra’s feet refused to move. Hera stepped toward him, reaching for his arm. 

“No, stay,” the Inquisitor said.

Once again Ezra heard the ripple in the words. Felt the strange urge to plant his feet, only for it to quickly fade away. Kanan and Cal must have as well because they blinked in confusion. Hera froze completely in her tracks. Her eyes grew wide, her mouth parting open.

The Inquisitor’s cool eyes fell upon her, interest flickering through them. “Excellent.” His lips curled upwards. “Punch him.”

“What—?”

Hera’s fist interrupted Kanan’s question, hitting him square in the nose. He doubled over with a loud grunt. 

“Kanan!” Hera shouted. “I didn’t—”

“Cal,” Kanan gasped. “Get them out of here.”

The Inquisitor, now free from his hold, stalked toward them. He held his chin high, his lips twisted into a sneer. “Come here, pretty thing.”

Hera walked toward him, raging hatred across her face. The man opened his mouth to speak again, but before he could, Kanan recovered from the punch, slamming the Inquisitor back into the wall.

“Go!” he shouted at Cal.

The Inquisitor laughed; the sound strangled from the pressure on his body. Hera continued toward him, but her steps had slowed, her body shaking as if trying to resist his strange power. Cal wrapped his arms around her from behind, pulling her back. 

Kanan’s jaw clenched. A thunderous crack sounded as he increased the force on the Inquisitor, fracturing several of the bricks. The man moaned, his eyelids fluttering.

Hera stopped fighting Cal’s hold on her. “I’m okay,” she mumbled, her eyes a little distant. “Just dizzy.” 

“Cal,” Kanan hissed, his hand beginning to tremble. “Go.”

Cal scooped Hera up into his arms. “Ezra,” he barked. “Come on.”

The trembling in Kanan become more prominent as beads of sweat slide down his face. His chest heaved with obvious effort. Ezra stood frozen. Kanan couldn’t last much longer. He’d only been able to hold Ezra for a few seconds during their fight

“Cal, get Hera out of here,” Ezra ordered. “I’m not leaving him.”

Kanan squeezed his eyes shut. “Cal, just go. I’ve got the kid.”

Uncertainty crossed over Cal’s face, but he nodded and took off.

The Inquisitor had come to, and he stared manically at them, as if aware of some joke they had yet to understand. He closed his eyes briefly, his face contorted with effort. “Sleep,” he choked out.

Similar to before, Ezra felt the thrum of power in his words. Only this time it crashed into him, a horrible numbing sensation, attacking his mind from all sides. Things would be so simple if he just laid down to rest. But the command hadn’t been intended for him, and the feeling quickly subsided. Kanan on the other hand wasn’t so lucky. His eyes slid closed as he toppled sideways. 

The man dropped from the wall, landing on his feet like a cat. Blood oozed from his nose, and he wiped it away, the movement jerky. He staggered slightly toward them, and Ezra thought for a second he’d collapse from the effort he’d exerted. But there was fierce determination in the man’s eyes, and he remained on his feet. Ezra took a protective step in front of Kanan, panic rising in him. 

The Inquisitor grinned, blood still dripping from his nose onto his lips. “You better be worth the trouble, kid.” He spat, a mad giggle bubbling from his mouth. “That’s going to give me a weeklong headache.” 

As the man approached, Ezra’s fear left him. An ugly chill unfurled within him, overwhelming him with the intense need to inflict harm on the man before him. To make him pay. This man had turned his back on his own kind, relishing in their pain. Now Ezra would be the one to cause that suffering. 

A sharp tingling sensation radiated down his right arm, the tips of his fingers burning. He ignored it. “Get away from him.”

The Inquisitor merely rolled his eyes, sticking his hand in his jacket pocket. He pulled out a small syringe. “It’s over, brat. You can’t save yourself and your friend.” 

The icy sensation vanished. The man was right. He had no idea how to fight, especially someone significantly larger than himself. And unlike Kanan, his ability was completely useless. The smart choice would be to run. But to do that would mean abandoning Kanan.

The Inquisitor laughed once more, more mania than amusement in it. He swayed on his feet. 

An idea formed in Ezra’s head. A long shot perhaps, but it was all he had.

“Better him than me,” he said nonchalantly. He forced a grin, stepping back. “I highly doubt in your state you could catch me.” Wiggling his fingers, he increased the distance between them. 

Color drained from the man’s face. “No,” he growled. His eyes bulged. “Sleep.”

This time Ezra felt nothing. No thrum, no power. His grin widened.

The Inquisitor trembled with effort as more blood dripped from his nose. “Sle—”

He broke off with a choking sound, eyes rolling back in his head as his body hit the ground.

Relief swelled in Ezra’s chest, and he allowed himself a brief moment to revel in it. However, the lack of appearance by the girl unnerved him. Where had she gone to?

He ran to Kanan. “Come on, come on.”

A few shakes later Kanan stirred, his eyes opening slowing. “Ezra?”

“We need to go.” He helped Kanan to his feet and together they stumbled away from the Inqusitor’s form.

* * *

Kanan plopped down in the passenger seat, pressing a bag of ice to his nose. 

“They okay?” Cal asked. 

Kanan winced, the ice stinging his skin. “Hera’s a little shaken up, but yeah.”

“Hell of a right hook.”

“Yeah,” Kanan replied. “Try not to get on her bad side.”

Cal chuckled before asking “And Ezra?”

The answer to that one was complicated. Though Kanan had been groggy on the way back as the effect of the Inquisitor wore off, he’d still managed enough coherence to worry over Ezra. The kid adamantly assured Kanan he was perfectly fine, but he could sense the lie.

“He’ll be okay,” Kanan said. “He swears he left because he couldn’t find you.”

Cal frowned, not saying anything.

“What’s wrong?” Kanan asked. 

Cal rubbed at the back of his neck, his forehead creasing. “The whole thing is just weird. And something Ezra said earlier been bothering me.” His voice trailed off as he shook his head. “Sorry, overthinking things. Now what do we do?” 

Wasn’t that a million-dollar question? Two very close confrontations with Inquisitors, both times managing to narrowly escape. Sooner or later their luck was going to run out. 

“We keep driving?” he suggested. “Honestly, I don’t know what else. If they all know what he looks like, our best bet is to keep moving. And no more field trips.”

Cal grimaced, the shadow of a suppressed thought crossing his face.

“What?”

“You’re not going to like it,” Cal said slowly. “But I think we should hide out for a while. And I know the best place for that.”

Kanan closed his eyes, fighting the apprehension threating to surface. “Yeah I do too. I’m just not happy about it.”

The corner of Cal’s lip twitched upwards. “It’s the safest place until we figure something out. At the very least she’ll know if someone’s coming.”

* * *

Ezra slid the mug of steaming tea to Hera as he joined her at the table.

“Thanks, hun,” she said, smiling faintly. 

He winced. “Hera, I’m so sor—”

She held up a hand to stop him. “You have nothing to apologize for. I promise, I’m fine.”

He nodded, his guilt still refusing to quiet. All he ever seemed to do was cause trouble for his friends. 

Hera watched him as if she understood his thoughts. “Ezra,” she said, reaching out to hold his hand. “As much as I wish it were, this probably won’t be the last time we see those bastards. It’s not your fault.” She squeezed his fingers, before pulling away. “I think it’s time for a new pair of gloves,” she said with a laugh, “those look a little worn out.”

Ezra frowned, following her gaze. A heavy feeling spread through his stomach as he examined his fingers. 

“You okay?” Hera asked.

“Uh, yeah,” he lied, forcing a smile. “Sorry.” He took a sip of his drink, hoping he’d convinced her.

She nodded and began talking about something, her voice nothing more than white noise to Ezra’s ears. 

There had been a moment back in the alley, that he hadn’t bothered to spare a thought of until now. The strange burning sensation in his arm and fingertips as he stood before the Inquisitor. At the time it had been insignificant compared to everything going on, but he now realized that the pain reminded him of something. A dream? Or maybe a memory that had faded over time. One that didn’t seem like wholly his own, but instead belonging to someone else.

The gloves he’d put on this morning had been brand new. The left one looked exactly as it had, though maybe a bit dirtier. But the right one, all the fingertips exactly where the pain had ebbed, were scorched. 

Almost as if they had been burned. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Yes, as all of you probably guessed the mysterious man is Maul. I've been hinting at his involvement in Ezra's life in almost every chapter since three, mostly with lines you might not have thought much about when you read them. 
> 
> A few readers have already found me on tumblr and if you're interested my username is the same. It's not exclusively for writing, I just reblog stuff I like, including a lot of Star Wars. But if you want to ask questions about my writing (or bug me to update faster) send me an ask!
> 
> Thanks for reading and commenting. I really appreciate yall!


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